my son is 6, he has Sensory Integration and Central Auditory Processing Disorder.

he’s hyper, hes active, he has no off button. I knew this when I as pregnant within. He never stopped moving.

He cannot walk anywhere, he has to run. He cannot sit still, ever.

He is clumsy and can fall off a chair just sitting there. he’ll be eating and sitting like “normal”  at the table and then BOOM hits the floor hard…the dis-regulation in his nervous system, requires he seek input constantly and he sings ALL THE TIME,  has to crash into things and people to stimulate his nervous system. he pounds the floor hard when he walks for input in his joints…..talks non stop, spins, jumps, etc etc etc. He tipped the kitchen chairs back on two legs constantly and fell  from them daily. so now he sits on a chair I brought in from the garden that is more like a stool he can’t tip back , because there is no back to push off of.

he wears me out. he sucks the energy out of me mentally and physically.

Even thought I know all of this and do things to compensate for it,give him extra leway because i know it is a thing and he is not doing it to annoy… he drives me bananas after 12 hours of him constantly yammering on and on and on and ON…and spinning, and jumping and talking too loud ( no volume control).

the only time the child is ever quiet is when he is asleep and with the nature of his neuodiversities and just simply getting older, he requires less and less sleep.

If he is awake and is silent, I assume he is hurt or sick…aside from getting lost in lego upstairs ( and even then I can still hear him talking to himself), or being wrapped up like buritto in a blanket to sooth himself while watching a movie he adores like Tron, Cars, anything with a dog in it), sick or hurt is the only time he’s quiet when he is awake.

he’s a total ball of energy, and makes me wanna pull out my hair and deafen myself most days.

And then…. when he is asleep…….i miss it.

#spd #capd #motherhood

I had just finished eating a late supper, because I was outside splitting wood all evening, and was planning on taking a phone call from a ADHD online acquaintance and trying to the the kids prepped for bed all at once, and decided to multitask.

So, I was getting my 6yo son, sensoryboy, ready for bed and getting him a melatonin at the same time as getting two caffeine pills for myself, and handing my 11yo  daughter her melatonin.

In my attempt to multitask, I handed her her melatonin, got my caffiene pills, THOUGHT I handed the boy his melatonin, and then popped my caffiene pills and drank them down, while getting a drink for the kids each.

It was only when my son was standing there telling me I didn’t give him his melatonin yet that I realized that I took his small white melatonin pill that was under my large pink “wide awakes” and I never even noticed, because I was rushing, and trying to multitask.

the three of us started laughing so hard, we could not tell TMO ( theMundaneOne aka hubby) what I had done, and then just as I gathered myself to tell him while till giggling, my son “herpderped” me.

he HERP DERP-ED ME!

HAHA it was well deserved.

FYI, melatonin with 200mg of caffiene doesn’t really do much of anything.

FYI part duex. don’t get on my ass for taking 200 mg of caffiene…it’s the equivalent of a large tim horton’s coffee…with no sugar, and less shit flavour

never a dull moment around here I tell ya.

So a few weeks ago I “liked” a page on facebook for “muffin tin meals” when I saw it on a friend’s status as it looked kind of fun for the kids, and I wanted some more info.

When I saw what they were doing with “muffin tin mondays” I decided I’d try it with the kids. I have muffin tins I NEVER use ( as you can see by the picture! lol) I liked the idea because it is derived from Bento boxes from Japanese traditions, and as an ADD person I find Asian culture’s streamline organized ways to be calming to my mind.

Anyway, in my usual ADD fashion I forgot about it for a week or so, and then in a rush one evening this week past, and from having literally NO clean plates in the house due to our current canoe project taking up a lot of my time, I needed a solution!

Once again a possible ADD disastrous supper due to no clean dishes, and little time to prepare anything decent, I became a Super ADD Mom, and got some major cool mom points for remembering the muffin tin idea.

I dug out some muffin tins and scoured the fridge for leftovers, and made a muffin tin meal for the kids. We had worked late on the canoe and everyone was tired and cranky, so I just threw in some fast bite foods to fill the tummies fast, and cut up their hot dogs in bite size manageable pieces with some raisins for the boy, and hummus for the girl.

THEY LOVED IT!

HOW SIMPLE an idea, but how BRILLIANT! A mom and former preschool teacher from California came up with muffin tin meals!

Now, the kids are asking for muffin tin meals at every supper, and if I can dish it in a muffin tin, I am!

The smaller sized sandwiches or hotdogs cut make it easier to eat, and they are HAPPY to have them cut for the muffin tin. If I suggested cutting a hot dog served on a plate in half to make it more manageable to hold they’d normally get really upset..possibly even major meltdowns, but in a muffin tin, they are happy to have it cut.

The girl HATES her foods touching each other, so this is PERFECT for her. Potatoes and corn and chicken all separated. Even gravy for dipping. She’s not whining about foods touching.

The hyper boy is making less mess and actually SITTING for supper!

In fact he was so excited for “our muffintin meal” for supper the other night he cleaned the WHOLE table off ( it was stacked with crafts, recycle, and the breakfast dishes)….and he worked really hard to wipe the table off! He was so Proud of himself! he said to me ” i’m being asponsible aren’t I mommy” with a big grin on his face.

Then in the evening after the kids were in bed. TMO and I were cutting beef up and I put the crock pot and slushie maker on the table for counter room, and in the morning the boy said ” AWWW man I JUST cleaned this WHOLE table and someone went and messed it ll up!”

I laughed so hard…nice role reversal. I cleared off the table and told them if they like muffin tin meals to keep the table and dining areas clean. Today they kept it clean again, and even put new place mats in place, and made a bouquet of fresh flowers from the garden.

So far… this is like a small miracle in my house! We are planning on shopping for some nicer looking colourful muffin tin type trays for the kids soon, or maybe making more traditional bento boxes.

The Mundane One has also said he’d like to eat that way too and spent some time on google looking at bento boxes.

Thanks @muffintinmom !! She and I connected on Twitter last night, and best part of all…. SHE’S a Super ADD Mom too!

If you want to check it out, follow @muffintinmom on twitter, or read her blog at www.muffintinmom.com

1. 4 yo me saw my third term of SK marked as “behind her peers” and would be held back in SK if I didn’t show significant improvement
2. 4 year old me did not get along well with the other girls, i didn’t understand “playground soial rules” and the teacher was concerned for me

3. 4 year old me, was clumsy, and accident prone, and was no longer allowed un covered cups at snacktime…i remember the yelling

4. 4 yo me, had hearing tests because I appeared to have a hearing deficit, but my physical hearing tests came back fine

5. 4 yo me had to take speech therapy bcause I could not talk well…speech therapy taught me how to read lips, little did they know..

6. 4 yo me could not count to 15, i would count, 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,12, 11,13,14,15 EVERYTIME, and was scolded for it ( i remember well)

7. 4 yo old me, refused to play building blocks with a partner, and wanted to be alone and would have temper tantrums if forced to play blocks

8. 4 yo me, could not sit still for reading circle, interrupted with questions, being “picky” on the teacher paraphrasing the storys she knew..

9. 4 yo me…hated chalk and paint on my hands, refused to do those activities. liked to play house with dolls, in the dress up area alone..

so, ya.. looking at this report card.. the signs are SO CLEAR…but not in a public school classroom in 1978

Source:http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/04/070402162106.htm

ORiginally titled”

Babies Who Don’t Respond To Their Names May Be At Risk For Autism Or Other Disorders”

I don’t consider being BORN with a certain set of characteristics that can be labelled autistic or other developmental disorders, to be called “being at risk” for it later in life, because they can possibly detect these things earlier.

It is clearly a case of , they are seeing earlier signs on development that may indicate communication delays, and or development milestones being met later than “typical” .

I’ve seen signs in my daughter’s sprectrim idiosyncrancies since she was a baby, as early as 5 months old, when she preferred alone time, and her own sleep space, and would only snuggle or cuddle when SHE wanted, and would get outright flippy screaming if you stopped her activity without enough notice.

By 2 years old, “Raising your spirited child” was my parenting Bible, and the first indication to me, that my daughter was  not typical, and that as a parent I was not alone with a spirited child.

I knew in PREGNANCY with my son, he was a hyper child.

************************************************************

ScienceDaily (Apr. 4, 2007) — Year-old babies who do not respond when their name is called may be more likely to be diagnosed with an autism spectrum disorder or other developmental problem at age 2, making this simple test a potential early indicator for such conditions, according to a report in the April issue of Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine, a theme issue on autism spectrum disorders.

Although as many as half of parents of children with autism report concerns about their child’s developmental progress before the first birthday, the disorder is usually not diagnosed until age 3 or 4, according to background information in the article. “Earlier identification of autism offers the possibility of early intervention, which holds promise for improving outcomes in children with autism,” the authors write. “This has motivated a growing body of research that aims to ascertain the earliest reliable indicators of autism.”

Aparna S. Nadig, Ph.D., of the M.I.N.D. Institute, University of California Davis, Sacramento, and colleagues assessed the tendency of infants to respond when their names are called, which is “one of the most consistently documented behaviors in infancy that distinguishes children later diagnosed with autism from those with typical development or developmental delays,” they write.

Infants whose older siblings had autism, and who were therefore at risk for autism, were compared with control infants who were not at high risk of developing the disorder. While each child sat at a table playing with a small toy, a researcher walked behind the child and called his or her name in a clear voice. If the child did not respond after 3 seconds, the name was called again up to twice. Fifty-five at-risk infants and 43 control infants completed this test at age 6 months, and 101 at-risk infants and 46 control infants were tested at age 12 months.

“At age 6 months, there was a non-significant trend for control infants to require a fewer number of calls to respond to name than infants at risk for autism,” the authors write. “At age 12 months, 100 percent of the infants in the control group ‘passed,’ responding on the first or second name call, while 86 percent in the at-risk group did.”

Forty-six at-risk infants and 25 control infants were followed up for two years; three-fourths of those who did not respond to their name at age 12 months were identified with developmental problems at age 2. A total of 89 percent of infants who did not have an autism spectrum disorder (including autism, Asperger’s syndrome and related conditions all defined by deficits in language and social skills) and 94 percent of infants without any developmental delays at two years responded to their name on the first two calls at one year. Of the children who were later diagnosed with autism, half failed the test at one year, and of those who were identified as having any type of developmental delay, 39 percent failed the test.

“Thus, failure to respond to name at the well-child one-year check-up may be a useful indicator of children who would benefit from a more thorough developmental assessment,” the authors write. “It will not, however, identify all children at risk for developmental problems.”

“Since this task is easy to administer and score and takes few resources, it could be incorporated into well-child pediatric visits at 12 months of age,” they conclude. “If a child fails to orient to name, particularly reliably over time, this child has a high likelihood of some type of developmental abnormality and should be referred for more frequent screening, comprehensive assessment and, if indicated, preventive early intervention.”

This research was funded by a grant from the National Institutes of Health.

The Mundane One and I over Lunch.

me: you should have seen the boy on the balance beam this morning, he was really going..so fast, he was flying like a bat in the wind

hubby: bat in the wind?
( I always get those “old sayings”/metaphors/assimilies wrong since I grew up with a deaf father, who heard them wrong all his life and passed them onto me, so i knew I said it wrong by his question)

me: ya, you know. like really fast.. I guess that one is wrong too right?

hubby: uh YA.. you’ve been saying that for months now, and I keep trying to ask you what the hell…

me: ya. i dunno. i got that one from my dad I guess…. bat out of hell then right?

hubby: ya I guess that would work

me: whatever, he was going really jam fast!

hubby: jam? what is THAT?

me: giggle.. ya. I dunno, just came out, meant to say damn.. but…

hubby: jam tho?

me: YA… I’m trying to curse less for fuck’s sake ok? so, I said JAM instead of DAMN

hubby: (laughing) so.. ok.. how’s that working for ya so far?

me: really fuckin’ great!

hubby: ( shakes head and laughs at me in the knowing.. you’re hopeless, but I love ya anyway look)

ohhhh my… i just witnessed in myself a near meltdown from sensory overload.

This naming it to claim it stuff is draining.

Now that we’ve made the correlation of the Aspergers traits I have, I’ve been working on becoming more aware of when i’m having what I call “An Aspie Moment”

Sensory overload is a thing.. too much noise, to much light, to many colors. I am a very visual person, I see things very vivid and i notice EVERYTHING…unless I’m really hyper focused on something, I see and take in everything around me.

In the last few weeks, it has been interesting basically evaluating myself to see what is bothersome, when do things get too overwhelming, and how I deal with them, so I can deal with them better.

Being tired. Being in pain…they make it harder for me to filter, and process everything I take in. It then makes my ADHD traits worse, and I’m essentially a bumblling idiot who can’t remember what you call that thing you put things in to stay cold in the kitchen.

When I get that way, I get flustered, anxious. I have a hard time finding words to speak and I go inward. I get clumsy and trip over my own feet. I make mistakes, I get scatterbrained more. My depth perception is off, i break glasses, burn dinner, etc..the list goes on and on.

I recognize that in the past…I’ve dealt with these things, and have been avoiding actual panic attacks, or temper tantrums I guess by becoming actually moody, bitchy, cranky, sometimes even reach a boiling over point to near, if not total rage.

When I’m moody, bitchy, cranky, no one wants to be around me, and it was I guess a backward, sub conscious thing that allowed me some alone time. It gave me the time I needed to recuperate and stop the panic inside, calm down, and find a way to regroup and move on, and handle the sensory overload better.

So, with this awareness, i’ve been trying not to be cranky and be a bitch when I notice these overwhelming feelings coning on, and I’ve been trying to find a way to cope better that is healthier for the relationships with the other people in my life.

Diverting the kids to go somewhere else away from me, using my ear phones, but still being physically present etc.

But today was too much…..I’ve been this overloaded before…many times… but by now I’d always have been bitchy, cranky at people’s needs, yelled at the kids for the smallest things like how they are chewing their cookie near me ( the sound is SOOO ANNOYING and LOUD i can hardly stand it). I’d been cranky with hubby, and then this would cause strife for a while. There would be bad feelings between everyone, and then I’d need to recoup, AND get over the bad feelings, and apologize for my behaviour.

Today I fought the urge to be bitchy…It is very hard to fight the tendancy to revert to a coping stragedy I’ve used for 35 years. I managed to not flip out, but it was replaced by the urge to physically run away…I’ usually run away to the computer, and that in an of itself causes issues, because I retreat to the computer as a way to shut out the stuff that is overloading me, and then I get less done, and hubby gets mad at me for “being addicted” to the computer.

I’ve been trying not to run to the computer for a mental escape as much lately, and have been using a timer to force myself to do things that need to be done, for a certain period of time, before I go take a break.

So I didn’t run to the computer….but I got a feeling of being out of control and stuck in a situation I could not get out of, and I started to have a panic attack. Of course I put myself in the situation with my limits I’m trying to pose on myself in small ways.

But I could not run away from what I was doing to retreat to the computer, or even run away outside, because I was cooking food for people, baking cookies, and listening to hubby talk about stuff he wanted to tell me.

I had a loud self talk in my head saying. “pay attention, pay attention, listen….don’t panic, just finish the cookies and then you can leave. hang on ok!? Don’t get mad at everyone.”

At some point, I had three people trying to tell me something all at once over each other, and I could feel the need to get mad and yell “go away from me now, you’re driving me nuts!” I answered in a snappy tone and had to take a breathe and appologize right away to not let the responses to my snapping, roll over into the same old song and dance we always end up doing when I get to feeling this way.

I don’t know how I got through finishing the things I was doing in the kitchen, but the second I was done, I HAD to go away.

I had a tight chest, heavy breathing, and a headache behind my eyes coming on from the stress, because I wasn’t reverting to just coping by getting mad.

I’m upstairs now, in the office where I usually gazelle. it’s quiet, it’s good.I txt messaged hubby to tell him where i was and why.

I started writing this to try and get it out as it is pouring out of my brain, and I’m trying to relax.

I’m still buzzing in my brain and my body feels like how it feels when you drink too much caffine in a short amount of time…jittery and jumpy. But as that slowly starts to die off, and the adrenaline from my little Aspie moment is spent, I can feel how spent of energy I am…

My brain is fried right now, and I feel like I just need to sleep for a little while. I feel guilty about that, and I’m not sure anyone here would let me sleep for a little while to get some equilibrium back.

I hate this feeling.. these are the times, when I would get mad and bitchy at everyone and say “maybe I just need to live alone on a mountain in a yurt with no one around me, cause I can’t take this crap anymore”

sigh…..

A blog of a woman with aspergers has been really insightful in allowing me to go, hey…there’s a name for that!?

It’s a good thing to be making the connections… but also…. it processing, and dealing with stuff, and THAT is tiring to.

I never made the connections before but this is why I have what I call “recoup days” after we’ve had a day out shopping, or driving far to the city etc.

I’m discovering the reasons behind elements of who I am, I never really gave a second thought to.

if you’re interested in reading it…

http://www.aspieteacher.com/2009/07/be-an-aspie/

thanks for letting me spill that

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaakkkkkkkk

I’m going to lose my shit! Seriously… the noise is nuts! POLLUTION to my brain.

I’m having a bad auditory day….every noise is grating on my nerves, and is amplified and making me jumpy.

I’ve been up since 8 am, with 4 hours of poor sleep due to pain. I go up today and took the boy to his dash and splash program which I have to paricipate in too. So I’ve trampolined, and swam today and coached the boy in his classes.

He loves the water, but is freaky about water on his face and ears, and that was today’s class…WOOHOO.

So he practically drowned me in the pool clinging to me, and near ripping off my bathing suit.

Anyway….I’ve somehow hurt my right rotator cuff and am in pain It feels like someone slammed my shoulder joint area with a sledge hammer. it feels bruised…i’ve never felt this kind of thing before. Anyway, physical pain  always lowers my ability to filter things, and makes me more scatterbrained, and I’m a low hormone level in my monthly cycle anyway, so I am just less able to  cope right now with too much sensory input. Even lights are too bright today, and the shades are drawn, and the lights are off.

I ran errands, drove home ( which always takes extra concentration effort when I’m having “bad brain” day.) and I’m exhausted mentally.

These are the current noises going on around me at seemingly IMAX theater surround sound levels:

Hubby playing a first person shooter game on the wii in the living room in surround sound sterio.

The kids arguing in the kitchen over a train set we borrowed from the toy lending library, the CAPD boy has the tendancy to talk too loud, and especially when he’s frustrated, and due to his sensory issues and exercising for 2 hours this morning, he is cranky and tired from working his gross muscles and practising his balance, and getting lots od vestibular stimulation.

the bread machine churning dough for pizza later. The Aspie girl is dressed up to be pretty today and wearing high heeled shoes she loves and they are clicking on the floor like riverdance.

Hubby yelling at the kids to not step in the wayof his game.

The dog barking in the bag porch.

And the timer beeping to warn that the cookies can come out of the oven.

I am gonna seriously freak out!  I’m physically tired, I need a nap to rejuvinate my brain power to cope with this stuff, but at 2 pm, there are too many things going on and too many things I’m needed for.

It is moments like this that I think my father’s ability to turn off his hearing with his cochlear implant must be a great blessing.

Where can I sign me up for one of those..like right now….PLEASE!?

Anyone have an auger? Can I borrow it? Left ear first please.