We live in a very rural area, and about 12 klm from town of about 5000. there they have a fitness and aqua center,  and this week I got the kids signed up for programs there.

We have a great community, that helps low income families like ours pay for such programs so they can attend. Honestly the gas in and of itself twice a week makes the budget tight for the next 8 weeks, but the program is covered, and the kids benefit from it tremendously in many ways.

Socially, physically, and even mentally and therapeutically for their sensory integration issues.

So for their age groups I have them in a gym and swim program, the girl had an hour of swimming ( informal swimming and water games, and some guidance, not lessons, but coaching just the same) and then an hour in the gym for a rules/lead game and some tumble and roll, trampoline gymnastics stuff.

She will be going every Wednesday evening, and then the boy will be in a similar set up on Thursday mornings for the next 8 weeks, but I need to attend with him and coach him in the pool, formal level red cross swimming lesson, with one leader/coach guiding us teaching our kid.

Anyway. her first night was tonight, and got the low down on all the boys who cheated at the games they played in the gym…ever the rules police she is Aspie kids are stickler for rules, and don’t adjust well to change. She has the added issue of being ADHD as well, and gets easily side tracked, so because of these things, she was terribly worried about going, that no one would like her, that she can’t swim very good, and she sucks at sports like soccer.

When we got there we discovered that due to pool availability, the swim portion of the 2 hour program is first. Which I think is really rather shitty, cause she’ll have to shower off the pool chemicals from her body to go to gym, and do all that in a timely fashion, AND then she’ll sweat and stink in the gym, and come home and need to shower again!
With a child who has an issues with time management, getting side tracked, and anxiety about changing in front of other girls, this could really put a major crimp in her liking this program at all. She was VERY upset…it’s different from how the program ran last year, so she was all bent out of shape over that at first….and she NEVER showers for less than 15 minutes, and THEN takes 15 minutes to dry and change….so I can’t just drop her off for a 2 hour free time in town, and then pick her up… I need to be there in the middle of the 2 hours, for the switch over, to ensure she stays on track. It is a good lesson for her to work at, and would be helpful, but still, not what we understood, not what we planned, and i can’t just take 2 hours to do errands, or maybe even enjoy a break at the library, or whatever, without needing to be back there an hour into it, and then hang around for 45 minutes left of the program.

But even with that…she had a good first night, and she was happy to be the first person dressed and ready for gym.

I’m glad she enjoyed it and came home with a smile on her face, and excited about it.

I’m really pleased with her instructor/leader. She eased into it well, though she was terrified and almost in tears at the beginning.

I hope that he is a sign of changes happening with a new generation of community leaders/teachers/coaches etc we are about to see more in upcoming years as my children and children with special needs are being accepted.

He’s energetic and young ( about 18/19) and great with the kids, and was receptive to my suggestions to make my girls’s experience better, to help lower her anxiety in social situations, and how to give her warnings for changing events/transitions easier. He didn’t know much about it, but he generally understood Aspergers and ADHD and was positive about her maybe needing a little extra coaching to stay on track.

I watched him interact with the kids in the pool, and with the kids in the gym, and leading the games, and He’s a positive verbal encourager, but not unfairly, and he high fives all the kids and makes them feel positive about their contributions….you can tell he is fresh in the game and loves his job.

I want more of this in my children’s future. He was a pleasure to watch coach the kids.

Tomorrow at 9:45, I’ll be back there with a great female instructor we know from my sons program last year, and last year he was very shy due to his CAPD…but he ASKED to go back this year, and is very excited about tomorrow. She’s in her mid 20′s, and she is just as great.

I rant a lot sometimes, so it is nice when I have the opportunity to share nice things

SOURCE LINK: http://www.publicnewsarchive.com/rewards-work-like-drugs-in-adhd/

Published by BBC on April 19th, 2010.

the boy: “<whining> mommmmmy, she won’t let me have a taste of her icecream! tell her to give me a taste!”
the girl: “I’m not giving him a taste of my ice cream, he never even offered me a piece of his brownie!”
the boy: “Yes I did!mommy i did offer her a price of my brownie!”
Me: “If she doesn’t want to give you a taste of her ice cream, she doesn’t have to”
the boy: “but mommy! i did offer her!”
The girl: “no you did not!”
the boy” I did, see right here, i offered you this large crumb, not you have to give me a taste of your icecream!”
at this point I started to laugh my ass off and had to tell him that a large crumb offer does not guarantee you a taste of icecream.
Sorry I think I must be really tired from the trip to the city… cause I found this extremely funny.

The stigma of living with ADHD is pretty negative at times. The negative impact it has on our day to day lives, and the people we live with can get pretty stressful. So stressful in fact that without help from medications to regulate brain chemistry, and being on top of RIGID routines to make life easier, we can end up being sucked down the big black ADHD holes of depression and inability to cope.

I grew up not knowing I had ADHD. I was just told I was lazy, and stupid, and bad, a daydreamer, etc. I didn’t learn to cope with my ADHD well, and now in my 30′s I’m basically teaching myself stuff i should have learned when i was younger. Kids today have advantages in the life skills with ADHD arena.But it is still not easy.

Some people think living with ADHD is a walk in the park because we get prescription drugs that are basically cousins in chemical make up to drugs that people take to get high, like Meth. ( drugs that have been around since 1955 BTW)

People see celebrities like Richard Branson, or Robin Williams ( with suspected ADHD) and think it must be a blast to have ADHD.

People make comments about being on medications for it, like we’ve somehow cheated a system to be granted legal narcotics, so we can get high.

As representatives of ADHD, you see these celebs as jovial, and friendly, and chatty. They are daredevils in racecars, or actors or comediens, business people, teachers, even doctors.

But you don’t see us ADDers among you scramble to keep a house clean, make dinner on time,get our kids out the door in a presentable fashion, With everything they need. You don’t see us struggle to  make appointments on time, and the stress it causes us internally.You don’t see us struggle to keep a job, struggle to pay for these medications that are far more expensive then any street drug.

You don’t see us search for the 10th time this week for our missing car keys because we got side tracked or interrupted in the middle of putting them away, and we laid them down someplace, and we only realize it when we are already 5 minutes late to an appointment, or lunch with you. You don’t see that we are late because we also didn’t have any clean socks.

ADDers live a life of secret embarrassment for these kinds of things. We blame the traffic, or roll our eyes and say “kids! what are ya gonna do?” or we say ” hey I thought you said  <insert what ever time is cloest to us not being late but just on time>, I’m sorry about that.”

We have to do things like set our clocks a half hour earlier and get everywhere a half hour before, just to ensure a “saftey zone” in our schedules to allow for ADHD blunders and mixups.

People with ADHD make mistakes, A LOT. Daily. hourly. We struggle to keep up in a world with standards and time tables set by people who don’t have ADHD.

So, as a person with ADHD it really pisses me off when people make jokes about my medication, or imply that I must be a “happy mommy” because I take amamphetamines to “get through the day”. Or they joke and ask me how I pulled off an ADHD diagnoasis just to “score”. They say things like ” nice deal if you can get it”

So…

Just to clarify…

An Amphetamine is a psychostimulant drug that is known to produce increased wakefulness and focus in association with decreased fatigue and appetite. Amphetamine is related to drugs such as methamphetamine and dextroamphetamine, which are a group of potent drugs that act by increasing levels of norepinephrine, serotonin and dopamine in the brain.  All chemicals, if you bothered to look into it further,that you’d know ADDers have  lower levels of.

We chose to put these chemicals in our systems, because it alters our brain chemistry to try and put us on a par level with people who don’t struggle through life with a sleepy brain, and so we can live better among a society who sees us as “broken, annoying, and beneath the rest” that need to be fixed.

FYI the hyper activity of ADHD is CAUSED by LACK of the chemicals those drugs help our bodies produce at more “normal” levels in order to STOP the hyperactivity. To bring us UP to a level of  “normal” functioning like you have the ability to do just by breathing. We don’t take them to make us high. Bt they’d likely make YOU high.

I personally struggle in the morning to wake up because those chemicals are so low in my system. I could just sleep all the time without my ADHD medication. Did you know there are scientifically proven links between ADHD and narcolepsy

In order to be able to just walk to the bathroom upright in the morning, due to the morning haze my ADHD brain has, I have to set two alarms, one to take my meds and snooze back asleep until they start to wake me up more due to the chemicals in my brain rising from the help of the meds, and then I wake up to the second alarm, and even then STILL, it takes my brain at least an hour to feel functional. When my meds wear off toward the end of their effectivenes in the day, as a mother and wife I still have a lot of  “work ” to do to keep a family with special needs functioning, and prepared for tomorrow.

If I don’t remember my meds one day, we fall out of routines and things get way out of sync, and we all must struggle to get back on track, because I go around in a scatterbrained haze unable to accomplish much of anything.

If I take my meds too late in the day, my brain is wide awake, and I can’t get to sleep and I’ll find myself awake at 4 am, planning a menu for the month, or tweeting, or watching  movie, because my brain then won’t shut down until the chemicals dwindle down to a lower level to bring on sleep.

And, just so you understand the cycle… once my brain is FINALLY sleepy from the lack of chemicals again needed to stay awake… my brain will just want to stay sleepy, and we start the cycle the next morning all over again.

ADHD medication make us not want to eat as much and people struggle to get in the proper daily intake to remain healthy. This is especially a concern with children who are still growing.

I’m not sure what the Non ADHD world thinks, but having ADHD is not all fun and games. People with ADHD come from higher rates of divorced homes due to the chaos and stress ADHD traits cause in everyday living.  Adults with ADHD, struggle in relationships to find a balance that works, and also have a higher rate of divorce.

People with ADHD have increased risk of drug and alcohol abuse ( trying to self medicate a constant sleepy brain), have higher rates of severe low self esteem and depression than the general population, as well as debilitating anxiety problems, and higher suicide rates.

Ya! pretending to have ADHD when I was 6 months pregnant and depressed to get a diagnosis finally, just to not be able to get any help with my brain chemistry for over a year, due to breastfeeding  my son was a SURE sign I was looking for a quick cheap legal high.

HAHA YOU R FUNNY!

Oh? it is just a joke? oh. my bad…I’m such a stiff!

People with ADHD have higher rates of being in lower income levels due  to struggling through school with learning difficulties, keeping jobs due to ADHD interrupting their ability to do their job to expected standards ( late for work, poor performance on bad days, forgetting projects due etc)

People with ADHD try to be upbeat and positive because we have SO MUCH negative stuff in our lives to deal with. Prescription drugs for ADHD is not a COPING thing. We are not getting high. Shit, smoking pot in highschool didn’t make me high, it made me normal! YA that was fun! Everyone else was giddy and high as a kite, and I was able to finally focus enough to go home and do my homework for the first time in my highschool career.

Our meds are helpers to the chemicals our brain cannot produce well enough on their own.PLAIN AND SIMPLE.

You’re stigma, prejudice and “jokes”  are offensive. PLAIN AND SIMPLE.

So if you are gonna look in my face and say to me that my drugs make me hyper, or happy, or that ADHD can just be “cured or solved” with some basketball… well, sorry to be so blunt, but I’m gonna have to say…

FUCK YOU!

Plain and Simple.

YMCA Vancouver Paid Ad in a local paper. Charlene Giovannetti-King, the YMCA Vice President of Funds Development directly linked to the Advertisement said “We don’t see this really as a mistake” on a CBC radio interview with Rick Cluff.

Yes, you read that right, and let me be the first to admit that I let my kids play with dangerous things.

OMGZ!! I’m a terrible mother! But wait! Why not read the rest before you go calling the appropriate authorities on me. I let them do it for their own good. If you are still worried when I’ve said my peice, I’ll give you the “evidence” you need to know just how terrible a mother I really am!

Looking back, I think sometimes that people didn’t see my learning disabilities/ADHD and audio processing issues as a kid because I was outside a lot playing, doing the things of my own accord, just being a kid.

You know, doing the things, that we as parents now with kids with these same kinds of issues pay people who call themselves occupational therapists a LOT of money to schedule into their daily routine as therapy.

We pay them to first figure out what kind of PLAY will best help our kids issues, and then we pay them more to get our kids to play on padded mats in rooms with trained spotters and safety equipment, and guess what…our kids usually HATE it, because it is associated with their “issues that need to be fixed”

It is sad, that it has come to us paying to practically force our kids to finger paint and stick their hands in beans, tumble and roll, and jump and climb up plastic fake rock walls and listen to music.

When I was a kid that was free, how moms just knew what to do to keep kids busy and something I WANTED to do even if my mom DIDN’T want me to.

We live rural and we somehow manage to survive on a pretty low disability income due to my husband’s health. Affording occupational therapy for my kids numerous  sensory issues is out of our financial reach and not covered by our government, as well as too far away physically to even afford to GET to, never mind pay for.

So, I do what worked for me when I was a kid. I just let my kids be kids.

Our back yard is our therapy room. I’m working on recreating a space in our workshop for the winter months when outdoors are too cold for daily events.

When my son starts spinning in the kitchen for vestibular stimulation, or stands on the furniture and sits on the rocking chair upside down to watch TV because his “brain can’t make him stop” I send him outside to jump and play, and be a kid. OR if i can’t send him outside,I have what I didn’t have as a kid to help him, a round of Wii Fit jogging, on the Wii.

I’m not a lisenced occupational therapist, but it is not rocket science folks. I’ve read dozens or more books on this stuff, I have two active kids with sensory issues, and my own issues to be my case studies. I have read dozens of websites on therapy related products and what they “accomplish” when used on kids with my kids sensory issues and can figure out for myself what I can do at home to accomplish the same thing for free or cheaper.

Being an occupational therapist means figuring out what things a person needs help with, and giving them exercises to benefit them and help them improve or maintain ability. I call it being an “Ability Growth Coach™” , and it is pretty simple.

As my kids Ability Coach, I let them play with rocks, and sticks. They take mud and cake it together with leaves and make pies. I let them play in the backyard with wood and rope, and build a teeter totter.

They swing on rope swings I’ve made them for nothing for sensory stimulation that calms their nervous systems and slows the hyperactivity down, and I even let them figure out gravity for themselves when they stand and balance on an old bike rim and topple off.

I let them climb trees without being duct taped in bubble wrap for protection. I even let them play on an old rusty metal play set at our local drive-in.

All in the name of Therapy… ahh who am I kidding, I let them do it because they love it, and it is fun, and it is what they want to do.

Kids generally know their limits and will safely test their limitations out…they won’t climb higher in the tree than they feel comfortable with. If they do, they’ll fear it for a bit, puzzle it out, and usually eventually figure out a way to get down on their own.

I’m tired of our society limiting my choices available to me as a parent by banning and/or by creating new laws and standards everyday we must adhere to, or fear the dreadful knock on the door from CAS/CPS because some busy body neighbor thinks we are allowing our kid to play unsafely or “unsupervised” (i.e. not having one eyeball glued to the kids butt)

I’m tired of our governments thinking we need to save us from ourselves. But I guess when you cannot ban stupidity or carelessness in humans, the next best thing is to protect them from themselves.

Yes, over the last 25 years since I was my own occupational therapist as a kid, other kids have been hurt badly or killed by things we no longer allow. I have my own battle scars and stories for each one of my own injuries.

Sure, it was likely unecessary for them to have been hurt/killed.I’m sure you probably know someone personally who was. I’m not heartless. It is sad when someone dies or gets hurtfor any reason. But, if I took the time to break them down for you here (I have done it before) the stats on such things is miniscule. The number of incidents are so minimal when you average out the population number in total, and the numbers hurt by any one thing, you’d have better chances of being killed on the way home tonight from work. So, why are we not banning cars?

My kids love  to play. Ya, maybe they get a scrape or a bruise here or there,  splinter, a thumb hammered accidently,but they are learning and they are not in real danger. They are also learning when they get a splinter, how NOT to do that again, and how to get out a splinter and treat the wound without running off to the ER like they’ve severed a limb.

IT amazes me how my kids fall down and bump themselves, check with me, get some hugs and a “you’re ok” first aid when I assess they are ok, and  they pick up and keep going when some other kids cry for a half hour and the parent is off to the ER concerned about a concussion, while blaming the equipment the kid was on for being unsafe.

The equipment isn’t “unsafe”. It’s  always a “risk” like everything in life. Their assessment of the situation, and handeling of the outcome just sucks. THOSE kinds of parents are who got merry go rounds, and slides that are “too high and dangerous” outlawed. Those are the kind of people that got baby walkers banned in Canada.

GROAN!

So, I’ll get off my soapbox now, but here’s the evidence if you want to call the local authorities on me…this is my kids this afternoon playing, I mean doing their therapy. Not ONLY did they do that, but it was a homeschooling lesson as well in math, physics, engineering, constructing/industrial arts, phys-ed, Leadership skills, team work skills, and they don’t even know it!

What they don’t realize they are doing will do them a lifetime of good.

My daughter's Budgie "Sky" in June

A few months back, we lost our Budgie Horizon due to my ADD ( another story, but I’ll save it for later if at all). Once everyone stopped being rightly upset with me, we decided we needed to go buy another budgie to give Raindrop a companion, as she was very sad and lonely after Horizon died.

So, off to the pet store we went, with the strict understanding that we were buying a family pet, and I told my daughter in no uncertain terms that she was not getting a pet budgie of her own, as she was pestering me for one earlier before we left.

She was finally fine with it, and we went and looked around. My Hubby, AKA “The Mundane One” of the family, is the smarts in the family ( literally…he’s a genius) and I am was not a pet bird kind of person, so I defer to his judgment on such matters.

While there looking at the health and nicest colored choices to chose from, we noticed a smaller blue budgie. He was ragged looking in his tail feathers and sitting off to one corner of the cage not interacting with the others much, but we were drawn to his blue coloring.

The lady at the pet store said he was hand tame because she had taken him home for a little while as the other birds were picking on him. Though he was cute for having most of his tail feathers missing, hubby was apprehensive of a bird that the rest would pick on, as it usually means the birds see that bird as a weakness to their flock for safety, and that could mean he’s unhealthy, and a risk to the other birds, which is why they pick on them..to essentially, get rid of them. Knowing this, we looked at him anyway because he was so cute, and my daughter was sad for him. The lady brought him out on her finger and he came right onto my daughters hand when she said “UP!” and he just sat there looking at her, cocking his head from side to side. They spent the next 5 minutes or so interacting with him looking at her most intently, and while my husband was looking at other choices… They went and fell in love!

I could see it in her eyes. Her eyes sparkle when she is happy. I could tell when she brought him to her nose and said “kisses” the way we do with our other budgies and he responded by rubbing his beak on her nose, giving her a little love peck, that it was going to be hard to let him go.

She was giddy with the thought of him coming home, but it immediately turned to disappointment when Daddy chose another bird, because she knew we said it would be a family choice, and she wasn’t getting a bird of her own. Having ADD she is just not responsible enough at 8 to have a living pet in her room that requires constant attention.

While Hubby was looking at the other bird, I talked quietly to him and said.. “look at her honey, she loves that bird…she has enough allowance money in her account, I think we should let her get him. I know I said we wouldn’t, and it’ll be like “giving in”, but it will be easier if we offer rather then have her beg, because she’s going to, and then we’ll have to say no. We’ll keep him down stairs with the rest. What do you think?”

He was still worried about the birds health, but too could see the affection they had for each other. So, like “the meanie” that he is….when we left the store, we had two new budgies- Sky and the soon to be named “StormCloud”.

We came home and got them settled in respective cages, and immediately  the girl was hand feeding Sky, carrying him round on her shoulder, and making bed nests out of cardboard boxes for him. Over the weeks thought I thought her interest would wean, it never did. In fact the opposite occurred and she drove us crazy always asking, “Can I hold Sky now!? He’s lonely, look at him, he needs me!”.

I swear they are like Elliot and ET.

Then, a few weeks later Sky got really sick! We are not sure why. The Girl was scared to death, and she got sick as well, a slight fever, sad, upset, crying, worried beyond belief. She could not eat unless she knew Sky was going to be ok.

We thought Sky the budgie was a goner on May 24th. But after a few hours of treatment with warmth and a concoction hubby made up of rehydration drink (lemon juice, sugar, potassium & other salts) and honey with a little baking soda to buffer it, he improved tremendously.

We sat vigil around this tiny little bird, all watching and waiting, hoping he’d get better. Our family and Friends on Facebook checking in, wondering and worrying too.

He convalesced in a covered hospital cage with a heating pad under it for about 24 hours, sleeping most of the time, until he felt better enough to go back with his cagemates. By the beginning of the day on May 26th, he’s was eating like a horse and playing with the other birds he was clearly feeling better, though looking a little ragged!

I attribute the recovery to SuperDaddy… if it were up to me to administer fluids every 10 minutes via dropper. We would have been having a moonlight funeral for him in the back yard that first evening!

As Sky felt better,my daughter felt better, and things started to look up. Though we were really sure it was only a matter of time and had prepared her for the worst to come.

Sky on the Mend

A few days later, with a complete recovery, things went back to normal , or as normal as things can be for an ADDventerous family, and we soon put Sky’s illness behind us.

The birds all seems to be doing well together and spending time together as birds do, so we housed the three of them together in our bedroom, where my husband spends most of his time due to his chronic illness. He cares for them, talks to them, and as a family we gather and play with them daily.

Three is definitely a crowd when you’re trying to figure out mating pairs and it seems that Storm and Raindrop had decided that Sky was the odd man out, more than they decided he was ok and liked him. They had been picking on him a bit the last week or so, and we’d discourage the behavior, and were about to rearrange budgies this weekend into pairs when we purchased Lightning ( A white Budgie) last week, and quarantine was over. We were going to put Raindrop and Sky together as Storm and Lightning seemed to hit it off well, and we liked the idea of the color combo in any future baby budgies.

Then yesterday, hubby called me in the house when he was napping in the early evening, as he was startled awake by a budgie crying out in distress. Sky was on the bottom of the cage, very stressed out, and looking very ragged from being picked on…seems they decided to peck and peck at him, until he sort of just gave up emotionally, and retreated to a place away from them completely. We are not sure if they had been stopping him from eating, and that was why he was so weak, but we thought he was looking pretty bad.

We immediately separated birds and switched things around, and made a recovery bed for him, since he is so tame he rarely flies at all. the girl has him trained to perch and stay where she puts him.

All day yesterday hubby started trying to feed Sky and bring him back to health, but we were not sure it would work again.  Again our daughter began to get worried and sick physically, with a mild temp, an unable to sleep well all night. SuperDaddy once again sacrificed the little energy he has in a day to play budgie doctor and try to nurse this little bird back  to health again.

Lastnight at 11:00 pm or so, I posted on twitter “the kids are screaming & won’t go to sleep & Hubby is helping keep our daughter’s budgie alive! #didishavemylegsforthis!?”

We kept on through the night, Me watching hubby care for Sky, but after more than a full day, we needed sleep. So we put him in his cage and went to bed at 5 am. He seemed to be worse then just broken spiritually from being tossed out of the flock, and tired and hungry, so we’re not sure what it was, but he was very weak. We had decided that at that point there was not much more we could do for him if he had no will to live any longer, and couldn’t fight this illness. We left it up to him and went to sleep wondering what the morning would bring.

Then, at 9:30ish the girl came into our bedroom and woke me asking if Sky sitting on the bottom of the cage shaking and trembling and squawking like a Canadian goose ( literally) was a good thing…I told her, no it wasn’t at all. She was devastated, and thinking the bird was going to die, hubby shot up out of bed and went and brought him back to the make shift cardboard bed the girl made for him.

They tried to feed him more over the next hour or so, and then he started to get worse again. It seemed like everytime the girl spoke to him, he’d perk up. when she got really sad, he’d get really weak.

I told her she needed to let Sky know she loved him, and he needed to try really hard to get better, because she loved him and wanted him to stay with her.

And she did,and we waited a little.

When I posted on facebook at noon, he seemed like he was on death’s door. I wrote “Watching my darling hubby hold my sad baby girl’s sick budgie. They are crying as he dies & saying ily & goodbye very sad day here.”

At that moment, my daughter was bawling & my hubby was holding sky cradled in his arms & thinking he was on his way out, as he had seemed to have some sort of small seizure just then.

My son was laying on the bed with his face buried in the blankets, trying not to act like he cared, and doing a very poor job of it. So, Daddy held the bird, and I laid in bed with the kids in my arms, kissing them, and telling them we needed to say goodbye to Sky. But, my girl refused to say goodbye. I cried inside for her and this life lesson and a few tears slipped past though I was trying not to, and they streamed down my cheek.

We’re not sure if he was stroking out or what. But after that, and seeing the reaction of our daughter melt in my arms in a puddle, begging Sky not to die, hubby decided to not let him go gently, as he couldnot stand watching his little girl hurt so deeply. Words cannot say how much right then I loved this man! He’s not only my daughter’s hero, he is MY hero!)

Now, all day hubby has been crop feeding him with a syringe from a ink refill kit for printers and that little bird is hanging on right now!

I’ve never seen a small bird fight so hard to live. We’ve tried to nurse hurt wild birds back to health before, with no success. Hubby is amazed at the spirit to live this little bird has demonstrated thus far. It is truly phenomenal.

A part of him is mad at me for letting us buy him, but I see how much The Girl loves Sky, and though this is hurting her, and is a major roller coaster of emotions for us all right now, I would not go back.

Yes, if we wanted to be upset, this little bird is messing up our weekend beyond belief in ruining our plans for the day.

Yes, this little bird is causing everyone heartache. Yes, my hubby is hurting emotionally for his little girl hurting, and this whole ordeal is sucking the limited precious energy hubby has in a day physically and mentally. But still, I don’t think I would change a thing.

Garth Brooks says in a song “…and, now, I’m glad I didn’t know, the way it all would end, the way it all would go. Our lives are better left to chance, I could of missed the pain, but I’d of had to miss the dance.”

This…right here…right now…this weekend… fighting to try and keep this little bird alive.. this is “the dance” folks.

Sky was the runt, and very badly picked on by the other birds in the store, no one would have wanted him as a pet like that, even we didn’t… but she did.

In the 4 months sky has been wit a part of our family, he’s been a wonderful joy to the girl, and a great companion too. Sitting on her lap reading books with her and everything!

It sounds strange, but I think that bird is trying to fight for her!!!! They love each other so much! He has taught her patience, and gentleness, and how to care for a budgie as a pet, and she has given him unconditional love. He has taught my very hyper often careless 4 yo boy to be more gentle, and aware as well. He is a blessing.

IT is now almost 10 pm, and though he seems to be doing a bit better, he is still not out of the woods yet…so we are keeping on keeping on, trying to save our daughter first love from an untimely demise.

Hubby is still crop feeding him, and trying to keep him warm. The girl just had a few minutes “visitation” with him in the bedroom as I write out these final things. he’s chirping at her, though he is weak.

SuperDaddy Crop feeding Sky at about 7 pm

I don’t know if he’ll make it…if he lives and breaths on love alone He will! But if he doesn’t make it… there is one thing I do know. The lessons this little bird has taught us by being present in our lives is profound and amazing to me, and I am in awe of this universe, and the way life works.

I hope he makes it. I’d rather not have to grieve with/for my daughter just now in her young life…it will be difficult & hard I know. I’d prefer neither of my children cry or ever feel hurt or pain in their lives, yet I know that can never be.

Through all of this our 4 year old is being quiet, as per his usual way of dealing with stuff and is drawing a lot of pictures of Sky in his magna doodle.

But if that bird does die this day, I will chose not to grieve hard, but to be thankful for the lessons, and love he has given this family.

Sky has been the recipient of the wonderful caring nature of my husband, which I’ve always known, but can always use a reminder of. Sky he’s taught my daughter responsibility, and given her love and laughter and smiles, as he did for my son as well. Sky made me stop for a moment. Brought me to the “now”, and s reminded me to still find the good in our day.

Thank You Sky, you are one amazing little being.

I don’t know what lives you’ve lived prior to this one, but I am choosing to beleive that this lifetime was who/what/where you needed to be.

Perhaps you needed to find and know unconditional love and acceptance even in the worst of circumstances, from a pure heart in the form of my little girl who thinks you rule the world. And, perhaps when you do leave this plane of existence you will have complete your journey, and acheived enlightenment.

I’d like to think so.

Namaste Sky, Namaste

I always said that when I was a mother I’d never lack the patience my mother had with me. But that was before I had children, before I was Dxed with ADD, and before I knew my kids would be so…diverse as well.

Now, as the mother of an ADHD child, I know what my mother must have endured with me, since she too, is the mother of an Add child now an ADDult And we are pretty sure she has it herself, along with LD’s like dyslexia etc. ( she once circled the island I live on twice trying to find our house and the next time I had to give very straight forward simple, step by step instructions that included visual point markers so she’s know they were on the right path.)

Anyway…The awareness on that level that my mother and I have of each other TODAY is uncanny, but as an ADDmother then ( her ) trying to parent an ADD child ( me) she didn’t have what I have…Knowing I have ADD while raising my ADD kids. We just didn’t understand the issues with inattentiveness and distractedness. It was a tough time. The older I got the harder it was to relate. The best years for me were before I was about 11 or 12.before it got too complicated.

I’m lucky that I know what ADD is, and that I’m medicating for it for myself ( cause otherwise I’d be a bumbling idiot, literally). It helps me have more patience then she did for mothering kids who both have pretty big adhd traits.

I also, as an ADDer, for some reason, have this very close link to childhood/teenhood…so I relate to kids very well. But I relate to ADD kids better it seems. I can be more sympathetic then their non ADD parents.

So I often probably tend to let the kids “get away” with more then The Mundane One does. I “understand” where they are coming from, and why they do some of the stuff they do. It’s a constant struggle. I go from being a “crabby mom” trying to give them more stability to see improvements in their behavior, and then waffle back to the more organic lifestyle that is simpler on the brain for me ( and them) My poor husband though, who once thrived on a “bit” of organization lives in our chaos now, since he is surrounded by it.

Between me, and the kids he hardly ever gets a word in edgewise. I can’t blame him for being upset, someone is always interrupting, but what do we do…this IS what it is.

It drives me nuts cause I have social anxiety all the time, worrying about what I said, how I said it, did I say to much. etc etc. and now living in a small hamlet… I think it is getting worse. And then I have anxiety cause I feel like I am always getting upset with the kids, and the neighbors must think that I’m a terrible mother. Or if I talk to them, I talk too much, and the kids yammer on, and I need to keep them ”
in check”

Sigh….this is just some of the thoughts going through my mind tonight. I don’t like being a crabby mommy…I need to let  it go… butit is so hard.

For your reading pleasure today, since it’s raining and my kids are wii fitting to “get their sillies out”.

An old article I wrote for a parenting site about the Nintendo Wii & Wii Fit. Though it is over a year old, it still applies.

I thought with all the anti med talk for ADHDkids recently, it might be good to bring awareness to the benefits of the Wii Fit.

I use it with my kids a lot and notice they seek less hyper stimulation and argue with each other less for stimulation, as well as have better attention spans when they can Wii Fit for 20 minutes twice a day.

Even Doctor John Ratey advocated the Wii Fit’s balance training as beneficial on a free teleseminar at ADDclasses.com recently, before the official call began while talking with Tara McGillicuddyabout ADD and exercise.

But given the ability to do yoga, aerobics, strength training, foot eye coordination/balance games, and even quiet sitting meditation, there are a lot of people misunderstanding just how much the Wii Fit can do for you.

I even set my WiiFit to freestep while I listen to the teleseminars, to get in my exercise.

My 8 year old loves yoga and skijumping. She’s ADHD/PDD NOS and my 4 year old son enjoys the free jogging chasing the doggie “mii” he made of his favorite stuffed animal “vanilla puppy” and loves the soccer game, which is great for vestibular stimulation seeking kids with ADHD or CAPD. (spinning, sommersaults, watching tv upside down on the couch.)

My very hyper 4 year old son-"gummy bear", getting his sillies out.

Wii Hab

While everyone clamors for a Nintendo Wii this 2007 holiday season and can’t get one, they have hopes and are being told that after the holiday demand dies down they’ll be easier to get in spring of 2008 and onward, but I wouldn’t get my hopes up just yet!

It seems an unforeseen use for the Wii is starting a larger demand for them as the Wii has started to gain popularity among doctors and occupational therapist for what is now being called “Wii-Hab”.

A quick Google search will give you dozens of results for the Wii being recommended for weight loss in kids, teens, couch potato adults and even being purchased for seniors homes as part of their fitness regime for those who can’t get out anymore, but would like to stay active and out of a wheelchair as long as possible.

Injured soldiers, stroke victims, and brain injured patients across North America have been prescribed “Wii Therapy” as part of their rehabilitation and mass improvements in recovery time and general health are being noticed across the board.

No longer can society solely blame videogames for the demise of our youth!

The Wii is here to change that point of view forever.

Parents with children who have ADHD, Aspergers, Autism Spectrum Disorders, Dyspraxia and other neurological issues are noting the benefits to letting their kids play a session of Wii sports in the morning, and then again in the afternoon when they get home from school.

Less clumsiness overall, better attention span and less disruptive behaviour are being reported with the use of the Wii, when used in small time periods so hyperfocus won’t set in.

Parents are expressing their gratefulness at their purchase and joy at stumbling across an occupational therapy accidentally for their children that would otherwise cost them a fortune with therapists and rehab facilities.The best part is that it’s fun, the kids don’t know it’s “therapy” and the parents can do it with them for some family fun time.

The Wii could very well be THE greatest medical invention of this century! Helping to not only lower obesity percentages among our youth, or even overall population, and with that decreasing the odds of diabetes, high blood pressure, strokes, heart attacks!! But, also giving people with neuro based deficits some hope for a medication free therapy!!!

With a few gift card requests from family for presents to be able to purchase a Wii, even a low income family in need of the health and medical benefits of Wii Therapy could own one in no time (when the demand and supply issue is worked out by Nintendo, of course)

Given all that, when you factor in the cost of non insured occupational therapy for 6 weeks of rehabilitation, or a years gym membership, the costs of driving back and forth to the facility, it makes the Wii a very affordable and appealing purchase.

Wouldn’t you agwii!?

and no..Nintendo didn’t pay me to say this, but if they are reading…we would love a free mario cart game!! GummyBear broke ours by scratching it when he was 2 from twirling it in the case being excited to play.

My son checking out the tadpoles on an evening jaunt on a back country road

So, right off the bat, before I go offending someone who has an ADHD child, in the city, who attends school. I’m not saying rural living and/or homeschooling is a “cure” or that you should pack up and move to the country and start homeschooling your child. Rural life is not for everyone. I can understand that.

But having grown up in the country all my life, and having tried the fast pace of the city, the rushed lifestyle, the  schedules  ” and all that jazz”…Out here in the country, I just “fit ” better. My kids just “fit” better.  ADHD just doesn’t exist especially when your ADHD kids classroom is outdoors catching snakes, sitting in the  ditch yelling into culverts studying echoes and how sound travels, finding out where tadpoles come from, naming plants, and getting your feet dirty while picking rocks for a campfire pit.

I’m not trying to paint a rosy picture of rural living…my kids are not medicated for their neurodiversities, and they do drive me crazy some days, when they grate on each other’s last nerve and need a break from each other, and I’m about ready to lose my mind from my Concerta running out at about 5 pm, and I get scatterbrained myself, and there is still supper and bedtimes to be done.

Some days it sucks when we have to go to town or the day to run errands for the month, and we’re out stuck in a vehicle most of the day and they are about ready to climb the inside of the van walls. But if I had to parent my kids, in the city, sending them to school on a schedule, for THEM and my OWN ADD, and they were unmedicated. I’d probably be in a rubber room at the nearest city hospital!

Got ADHD? Rural life is the Rx Its just more laid back, and everyone is a bit more forgiving.

Oh look…Cows!