iAM

Meet Ril, AKA SuperADDMom. Ril is writer of the “ADDventures of Motherhood” blog.  She has been blogging since the birth of her first child, Over 9 years ago. She is a mom and wife with Adult ADD. Though the effects of ADD have been evident all her life, she was only officially diagnosed in 2005 after the birth of her second child, when hormone changes and extra demands of a second child brought her ADD characteristics more out in the open, and made life more challenging.

Since her careful diagnosis by a ADHD specalist she has spent a considerable amount of time educating herself about ADD and other neuodiversities. During this time she discovered that she had already spent a large portion of her life compensating and managing her ADD in ways that many ADD coaches suggest and guide others with, and she did them on her own intuitively. Sometimes with great success, and sometimes with a great deal of trial and error, heartache and growing pains.

Ril has a diverse background in education, and careers.

She has 8 years experience as a Natural Childbirth (& waterbirth), Breastfeeding, Early Infant Care and Attachment Parenting Educator. She is a practising Traditional Herbalist. She studied hebal health under elders all her life  growing up in Nova Scotia, and has self studied through distance education for the last 5 years. She grows her own herbs, and harvests  from the wild to use herbs in her daily living and caring for her family’s health. She is also a trained Birth and Post Partum Doula, and has a certificate for completion of the Triple P Parenting Program Seminar.

Ril has volunteered in her community for The Breastfeeding Network in conjunction with the Public Health Department in her area, and has done talks with local Mom/baby groups on Attachment Parenting, sling wearing,  but stopped temporarily due to the demands of raising her children who are “more”.

She has a new passion for natural healthy living, reflexology, and Music/Sensory Therapy; things that sprouted as a deep personal interest due to the nature of her own family’s health issues. Still, there should be no misunderstanding, as she is neither for nor against pharmaceutical medications for ADD, or other neuro health issues.  Each case is as individual as the person, and those choices should be made individually, by the person they effect the most.

Ril worked as a PCP ( personal care provider) with mentally and physically limited people prior to becoming a mother. She has worked one on one with, and cared for, people with Autism at many different levels of the spectrum from mild Aspergers to Non Verbal and severe Autism. She has also cared for children and adults with Downs Syndrome, Schizophrenia, Mood Disorders, and physical disabilities such as MS, CF/ME, CF, CP, and debilitating arthritis.

Ril lives in rural eastern Ontario, Canada with her self proclaimed “only mundane one in the house” husband of 11 years. Together they created and parent two wild, energetic, passionate, artistic, lovable ADD/PDD NOS and CAPD/SPD children.

Just to add to the mix they threw in some budgies, gerbils and a crazy energetic border collie dog, they (mostly) affectionately call ADDDog. (in reference, not what he comes to when called)

Ril is best friend, lover and caregiver to her husband who has debilitating CFS/ME for over 7 years, and is the keeper of the cheerios to her two kids.

She and her husband do their best to raise the kids on the 8 principles of attachment parenting, and have since the unassisted home water birth of their daughter in 2000, and continued on with the joyful addition of their son in 2005, who was also born at home in water.

They have homeschooled their children since the beginning, believing that life is learning, and schools are no place to truly learn or thrive.

Once neurodiversities were discovered with their oldest, it became an additional excellent reason for homeschooling, as kids with ADD and other neurodiversities learn best with one on one attention and the ability to move about freely while doing so.

Ril is a member of support groups for women living with ADD/ADHD and other neurodiversities, as well as mothers who are raising ADD/ADHD children, whether they themselves have the traits or not. She mentors other mothers as well as gains support from them equally.

Having ADD (inattentive), CAPD, dyslexia and other learning disabilities herself, Ril understands where people with similar issues are coming from, and as a mother of children who  are ” more” she understands the  physical ,mental and emotional energy it takes to raise children in a loving environment with as minimal stress as possible. A task that is NOT easy.

She’s not a doctor, a licensed therapist, or a spiritual leader with years of university training, but she has 35 years of down in the trenches experience, and a passion for digging deeper with it all, that keeps her learning and involved in self study in these areas.

With that knowledge she  writes about life with neurodiversities, as well as living in a society of neurotypical people. She hopes that her sharing here helps others learn how to make the most of their socially shunned neurodiverse characteristics, showing them how they can find the good and positive within, to be able to work with those traits rather then try to deny them and struggle in life unnecessarily, always trying so hard to conform to social rules that don’t always work.

It’s not always easy, and she herself has bad days, which she often shares in truth and honestly in her blog  in the hopes that others will learn from it as well.

Knowing that ADD is not always a positive thing in society, within our relationships with others, or even within ourselves, especially for adults diagnosed late in life, Ril also acknowledges and mentors about the grieving process people with ADD go through from the lack of “normalcy” ADD keeps them from. This grieving process is often lifelong, and not a process that has a beginning and an end. People with neurodiversities struggle and crave, but often fail over and over for the normalcy that they’ve been told to strive for all their lives, if they “just try hard enough.” because the people around them didn’t realize they had such hard hurdles to achieve the same things that are second nature and simple for most.

Though Ril believes to a certain level that a lot of today’s neurological “disorders” are just a social intolerance for being different requiring a label, she does understand that with these traits comes a greater responsibility to learn and sometimes adhere to the social standards a majority of our society expects. Doing this while maintaining personal integrity,  spunk and style can be hard at times, but leaves one feeling more able to adapt to most situations.

Ril’s biggest personal struggles with her own diversities is time management, forgetfulness, and talking too much. In her perfect world, every day would be a Sunday afternoon with no plans, and nothing to do but enjoy chatting up the neighbours with a cool glass of lemonade. Her calm place is imagining being in the centre of a sparse, well organized Yurt, alone with her mp3 player in her ears.

But… it is not a perfect world, so she too, strives to better manage her own  issues daily as well while enjoying rural living. She loves photography with her husband, gardening, herb growing and harvesting plants from the wild while hiking in the nature with the children.