Posted by SuperADDMom on April 23, 2010
I just took a sponge bath…so,I challenge you to take a sponge bath this week. using only 8 cups of hot water.
Why?
We have run out of propane to heat the hot water heater, so we are “roughing it” until the propane gets filled in a few days.
though, I’d hardly call no hot water right out of the tap roughing it, for where I come from. But I am sure there are some people in the world who have never even thought of where their hot water comes from.
I used to have to sponge bath when I was a kid. Not “often”, but enough to be familiar with the concept, and the ability to wash my whole body, my hair, and rinse off with 8 cups of hot water, mixed half and half in the tub with cold water, using nothing but a cloth and a cup.
now I am all clean and and feeling fresh after a grubby day of yard work
I enjoyed it…could live like this all the time if I had to and would not blink an eye, or mind all that much. I’m
It is amazing to me how much we are users and wasters in our daily lives.
Posted by SuperADDMom on
So last summer, for most of the time I wore sandles, flipflops, and bare feet as much as possible. Then fall came along and I started to wear my sneakers again, and gather wood, and do heavy work to prepare for winter, and sometime round about late September I started having this foot pain all the time.
I never recalled any specific injury I could have done to it, so I stayed off of it a bit, and would just go along doing the things that needed to be done…the pain never went away. 
By the time winter came, no matter what I wore on my foot, it hurt, and I could hardly walk or stand on my foot for longer than 20 minutes without extreme pain, tingly-ness, and inability to walk. Eventually, by Christmas time, when I’d be on my foot for more than 10 minutes I would have EXTREME burning pain in the front and side thigh muscle on the same leg as the painful foot.
Looking back now, I can’t believe the amount of pain I worked through, chopping wood on the splitter sitting on the ground, gathering wood in the middle of the night, sitting on a cardboard box, to rest my leg and foot. Over the winter I’ve let so many things just go, and I have a lot of stuff to catch up with because I left it go, due to the pain ( which is pretty bad when as an ADD person, I let things go “til later” anyway)
I have always had hip pain since my early 20’s come and go on the same side as the foot and leg pain, and so, with the increased pain on the same side, my hip would hurt too.
So, due to all of this, when we would go shopping since like about mid December, I had to resort to using a shopping buggy/scooter, to allow myself the ability to get through the trip.
I actually hated it, people really are rude to people in those things, and I can tell you, they are difficult to manoeuvrer and do what you need and want to do in them. I’ve never been rude to people using them before, but I can tell you I have a new appreciation for people who use them, if you hate being near those shoppers when in a store, I challenge you to drive a mile in there shoes and do a WHOLE shopping trip you normally do without such a need, and don’t allow yourself to park any farther than 3 foot steps away from what you need to get to. People also judge you, like they are looking you over and if you appear healthy in their mind, they scoff at you like your just a lazy ass and get annoyed with you being in their rushed way. AND totally FORGET about going down an isle where more then 1 other person is with a cart.
Anyway….since I made the correlation of the twofold problem I had with my foot, and took action to correct the issues, my foot has slowly been getting better.
No thanks to the medical professionals I went to, who totally misdiagnosed me, I figured out by researching athletic foot/running websites that i had 1. been wearing my shoes for too long, and wore then out which was causing my already tendency to walk on the outside of my feet, much worse, and was misaligning my foot every time I walked. AND due to this repetitive misalignment, i hurt my foot and was aggravating a plantar faciatis issue. Also because of the wrong diagnosis I was improperly taping my foot to support my heel, when what I needed to do was tape my foot to relieve the stretching of my tendons in my arch and heel.
So, since I figured it out and starting taping my foot the right way, got new sneakers that stop my tendency to walk on the outside of my foot, and make me walk more flat on my foot, my foot has slowly been getting better. Naturally, when barefoot, my big tore hardly ever hits the floor, unless I pay attention and change my walking. So there is pain in my foot when retraining my foot to sit a different way. before I would try to avoid that pain, and revert back to the damaging natural tendency to walk, basically creating a circle of inevitable pain.
I have been doing the Gazelle now for a month ( less 3 days) and it kills my foot sometimes, so I stop and rest my foot, but I try to do 2 miles every time I get on it, and I try to do a minimum of 10 KLM a week.
Since all of these changes, I have had the following benefits.
- the pain in my thigh is completely gone
- I can stand, walk, work outside for longer periods now before I need to rest my foot.
- my hip pain is almost non existent ( except for a few days where every joint in my body made me painfully aware of it’s movement)
- the pain in my shoulders and neck is much much less. where i had constant pain before, now I have intermittent pain when I lift heavy things or use the chainsaw for too long. doing the Gazelle is helping with this I think, because once you get on it it forces you into a correct posture to keep your balance, and it is helping the numbness and twitches that I have had going on for months. ( the twitches are still there, but less frequent)
I’m pretty happy about all of this. In the last month I started to use the scooter shopping buggy less and less, when we were in stores shopping.
2 weeks ago I needed one if we were shopping for more than a half hour, but tonight we went to a Home Depot, a Wal-mart, 2 large grocery stores, and a Lowes for some household needs and grocery items, and I did not use a shopping buggy/scooter anywhere!
My leg never hurt, my hip didn’t hurt, and my foot is moderately sore from the trip, but anywhere near as sore as it had been say in December, from just starting in the kitchen to cook a meal at the stove.
I have not lost a single pound in the month of doing the gazelle, but i have gone down a pant size, and since muscle weighs more than fat, I can tell that as I’ve been burning fat/stored fuel, I’ve gained muscle/strengthened muscle.
I didn’t start this for weight loss, I did it for being healthier, and hopefully pain free. I’m going to continue, because I’m happy to be back to actively intentionally exercising, it’s been 5 years since I really have been.So, I know I can expect the added side effect of weight loss from intentional exercise to keep limber and pain free.
I’m trying to contain my joy over it, because when I feel like I have “accomplished” something, I tend to back off.
But i’m feeling pretty awesome right now…and I do feel different in that I feel good about this progress, but I don’t want to stop.
I can honestly say that the hearts and comments here make me feel good about my efforts, and keep me going, and are a part of what motivates me to get on and go, even when I mentally don’t want to do it.
So, please don’t stop being my cheerleaders 
Posted by SuperADDMom on April 21, 2010
As a family with disabilities, we live on a small pension income. An income so small that decent food and making sure we have milk and vegetables is often a struggle.
We do pretty well I think, compared to some in our level of income. The Mundane One has an ability to balance the budget like no one I’ve ever seen.
We don’t drink alcohol on a regular basis, and the odd bottle of alcohol we do buy lasts us MONTHS, and we don’t smoke, so we have no habits that cost a lot of money. We buy second hand clothes from thrift shops,( except under garnments & shoes ) and we freecycle, recycle, fix, and barter a LOT for the things we have. it’s just what we have to do. We heat the house in the winter with wood that we collect for free all year long from the sides of the road, people yards who are cutting down trees, and a lumber yard who lets us take scraps.
We pay for internet as our source of entertainment, and it is also for homeschooling/educational purposes. We don’t have cable, or satellite, no home phone. a 10 year old vehicle, a fixer upper almost 200 year old home we purchased cheap because it need a lot of work, and we were given help on the purchase by the vendor holding the mortgage for us.
We enjoy life by doing cheap and simple/free things, like watching movies, fishing, going to the beach, or for walks in nature to take pictures etc. We try to accentuate the positive in a pretty stressful life, because if we didn’t we’d be miserable. We grow a garden to cut the grocery bill, we did everything we can to stretch food to make as many meals as we can. I can make a single chicken into 3 supper meals for a family of 4.
When we buy groceries and home supplies, we buy sales only and in larger amounts to save money. This requires all day trips to the city usually, which we combine with a needed trip like an appointment with my ADD doctor, to save on gas and wear and tear on the vehicle.
we hardly ever have much money to do things like go out for dinner, so last nights meal out to Pizza hut was a special treat that rarely happens, and it only happened because they have a Tuesdays kids eat free plan.
we are lucky enough to live in a place that has some great community programs that help us out a lot. a wonderful church run food bank once a month, who are very good to the kids, and a county that helps low income families pay for sports or swimming lessons etc, and a christmas program called “the Angels” to help families like us with holiday gifts/meal and clothes for the kids. Even the local Police run a winter clothing coat program, that we’d be lost without since our provincial government took away our children’s Winter Clothing Allowance. We really truly are blessed to live in a great place. I don’t know what we’d do if we could not get such help.
But as blessed as I feel, I still hate being poor. I hate telling my kids they cannot do stuff because we can’t afford it. They’ll likely never go to Zoo, or Science Center, or museums, because we cannot afford the admission, never mind the gas to travel to those kinds of places.
I hate shopping every time we go shopping I get depressed. I’m not looking at nice shoes, ro clothes I want, I could care less about that stuff. I get depressed because we need new towels, and facecloths, and decent sheets and pillows. I get depressed because of things for the house we could use to make life easier, but we cannot afford, and the one luxury thing I day dream about isn’t even selfish, or for me, it’s a washer and dryer ( in red)/laundry room sink/counter at the local Home Hardware. How sad is that!?
But, as much as I hate shopping, I especially hate shopping in the spring. I end up in a funk for days because I see all these organizational things that would help me be more organized and lessen the stress of my ADHD disorganization, which would in turn, lift some stress on everyone in the house, and make things easier on us.
About a month ago we were shopping and I saw some baskets for $10. They were perfect for the bathroom and to finally organize the top of the cabinet of things that had no home. I wanted them desperately. I asked hubby if we could manage the baskets this month. It was tight, but we did it, and I took the basket homes and made labels for them and organized the bathroom with them. It felt great, I LOVED that.
I thought to myself, If I could afford this kind of organizational stuff, getting organized and staying organized wold be so much easier!
I know if I could afford things like that and organizational closet systems, cupboards for the laundry room, a DRESSER for my clothes, I’d be less stressed, more organized, less cluttered etc.
I hate shopping and seeing things that would be great to help out our logistical issues and ADD living, and not being able to buy them.
It breaks my heart when my daughter begs me for a set of cloth baskets with a label on it to write whats in the basket, because she sees it would help her organizer her bedroom better, and I have to say no, because that $5 would buy us milk for the week.
Yesterday we bought a dry erase board that has four months on it, to plan your weeks/months and see clearly what’s a head. I loved it, and thought it would be helpful. It was $10. I hate that we had to stand there and try to decide if we should or not. It was a sacrifice to buy it. That $10 has to come from somewhere else, and means we probably spent too much money and my hubby will be out of tylenol 1′s for his pain until the end of the month.
So for the next two weeks, we’ll be well organized in knowing where we are supposed to be and when, but hubby will be in pain, because of his sacrifice.
Being poor sucks, and that’s why I hate shopping.
Posted by SuperADDMom on
the boy: “<whining> mommmmmy, she won’t let me have a taste of her icecream! tell her to give me a taste!”
the girl: “I’m not giving him a taste of my ice cream, he never even offered me a piece of his brownie!”
the boy: “Yes I did!mommy i did offer her a price of my brownie!”
Me: “If she doesn’t want to give you a taste of her ice cream, she doesn’t have to”
the boy: “but mommy! i did offer her!”
The girl: “no you did not!”
the boy” I did, see right here, i offered you this large crumb, not you have to give me a taste of your icecream!”
at this point I started to laugh my ass off and had to tell him that a large crumb offer does not guarantee you a taste of icecream.
Sorry I think I must be really tired from the trip to the city… cause I found this extremely funny.
Posted by SuperADDMom on April 20, 2010
WOOHOO.. 4 miles in 55 minutes… my legs are like jello.
ya know whats even more impressive to me….Canada does kilometers, and that was like 6.4 fucking KLM!!!! in one day!
I can say that I go fast and break a sweat better with music in my ears, than I do reading a book.
I love my phone too, cause I can tweet and tumble and check my mail. hell even yahoo chat, and it makes it go by faster.
I wanted to go farther today because I have appointments and shopping tomorrow, and I’m not sure I’ll get it to do any.
I totally did NOT want to do it tonight, i’ve been in so much pain in my joints the last few days, it took me an hour to convince myself to go do it.
I’m glad I did
and the bonus.. while I was on the gazelle, ADD related followers on twitter RTed my rant on the YMCA Ad and I’ve been getting some nice feedback in dms on my phone
Posted by SuperADDMom on April 19, 2010
The stigma of living with ADHD is pretty negative at times. The negative impact it has on our day to day lives, and the people we live with can get pretty stressful. So stressful in fact that without help from medications to regulate brain chemistry, and being on top of RIGID routines to make life easier, we can end up being sucked down the big black ADHD holes of depression and inability to cope.
I grew up not knowing I had ADHD. I was just told I was lazy, and stupid, and bad, a daydreamer, etc. I didn’t learn to cope with my ADHD well, and now in my 30′s I’m basically teaching myself stuff i should have learned when i was younger. Kids today have advantages in the life skills with ADHD arena.But it is still not easy.
Some people think living with ADHD is a walk in the park because we get prescription drugs that are basically cousins in chemical make up to drugs that people take to get high, like Meth. ( drugs that have been around since 1955 BTW)
People see celebrities like Richard Branson, or Robin Williams ( with suspected ADHD) and think it must be a blast to have ADHD.
People make comments about being on medications for it, like we’ve somehow cheated a system to be granted legal narcotics, so we can get high.
As representatives of ADHD, you see these celebs as jovial, and friendly, and chatty. They are daredevils in racecars, or actors or comediens, business people, teachers, even doctors.
But you don’t see us ADDers among you scramble to keep a house clean, make dinner on time,get our kids out the door in a presentable fashion, With everything they need. You don’t see us struggle to make appointments on time, and the stress it causes us internally.You don’t see us struggle to keep a job, struggle to pay for these medications that are far more expensive then any street drug.
You don’t see us search for the 10th time this week for our missing car keys because we got side tracked or interrupted in the middle of putting them away, and we laid them down someplace, and we only realize it when we are already 5 minutes late to an appointment, or lunch with you. You don’t see that we are late because we also didn’t have any clean socks.
ADDers live a life of secret embarrassment for these kinds of things. We blame the traffic, or roll our eyes and say “kids! what are ya gonna do?” or we say ” hey I thought you said <insert what ever time is cloest to us not being late but just on time>, I’m sorry about that.”
We have to do things like set our clocks a half hour earlier and get everywhere a half hour before, just to ensure a “saftey zone” in our schedules to allow for ADHD blunders and mixups.
People with ADHD make mistakes, A LOT. Daily. hourly. We struggle to keep up in a world with standards and time tables set by people who don’t have ADHD.
So, as a person with ADHD it really pisses me off when people make jokes about my medication, or imply that I must be a “happy mommy” because I take amamphetamines to “get through the day”. Or they joke and ask me how I pulled off an ADHD diagnoasis just to “score”. They say things like ” nice deal if you can get it”
So…
Just to clarify…
An Amphetamine is a psychostimulant drug that is known to produce increased wakefulness and focus in association with decreased fatigue and appetite. Amphetamine is related to drugs such as methamphetamine and dextroamphetamine, which are a group of potent drugs that act by increasing levels of norepinephrine, serotonin and dopamine in the brain. All chemicals, if you bothered to look into it further,that you’d know ADDers have lower levels of.
We chose to put these chemicals in our systems, because it alters our brain chemistry to try and put us on a par level with people who don’t struggle through life with a sleepy brain, and so we can live better among a society who sees us as “broken, annoying, and beneath the rest” that need to be fixed.
FYI the hyper activity of ADHD is CAUSED by LACK of the chemicals those drugs help our bodies produce at more “normal” levels in order to STOP the hyperactivity. To bring us UP to a level of “normal” functioning like you have the ability to do just by breathing. We don’t take them to make us high. Bt they’d likely make YOU high.
I personally struggle in the morning to wake up because those chemicals are so low in my system. I could just sleep all the time without my ADHD medication. Did you know there are scientifically proven links between ADHD and narcolepsy
In order to be able to just walk to the bathroom upright in the morning, due to the morning haze my ADHD brain has, I have to set two alarms, one to take my meds and snooze back asleep until they start to wake me up more due to the chemicals in my brain rising from the help of the meds, and then I wake up to the second alarm, and even then STILL, it takes my brain at least an hour to feel functional. When my meds wear off toward the end of their effectivenes in the day, as a mother and wife I still have a lot of “work ” to do to keep a family with special needs functioning, and prepared for tomorrow.
If I don’t remember my meds one day, we fall out of routines and things get way out of sync, and we all must struggle to get back on track, because I go around in a scatterbrained haze unable to accomplish much of anything.
If I take my meds too late in the day, my brain is wide awake, and I can’t get to sleep and I’ll find myself awake at 4 am, planning a menu for the month, or tweeting, or watching movie, because my brain then won’t shut down until the chemicals dwindle down to a lower level to bring on sleep.
And, just so you understand the cycle… once my brain is FINALLY sleepy from the lack of chemicals again needed to stay awake… my brain will just want to stay sleepy, and we start the cycle the next morning all over again.
ADHD medication make us not want to eat as much and people struggle to get in the proper daily intake to remain healthy. This is especially a concern with children who are still growing.
I’m not sure what the Non ADHD world thinks, but having ADHD is not all fun and games. People with ADHD come from higher rates of divorced homes due to the chaos and stress ADHD traits cause in everyday living. Adults with ADHD, struggle in relationships to find a balance that works, and also have a higher rate of divorce.
People with ADHD have increased risk of drug and alcohol abuse ( trying to self medicate a constant sleepy brain), have higher rates of severe low self esteem and depression than the general population, as well as debilitating anxiety problems, and higher suicide rates.
Ya! pretending to have ADHD when I was 6 months pregnant and depressed to get a diagnosis finally, just to not be able to get any help with my brain chemistry for over a year, due to breastfeeding my son was a SURE sign I was looking for a quick cheap legal high.
HAHA YOU R FUNNY!
Oh? it is just a joke? oh. my bad…I’m such a stiff!
People with ADHD have higher rates of being in lower income levels due to struggling through school with learning difficulties, keeping jobs due to ADHD interrupting their ability to do their job to expected standards ( late for work, poor performance on bad days, forgetting projects due etc)
People with ADHD try to be upbeat and positive because we have SO MUCH negative stuff in our lives to deal with. Prescription drugs for ADHD is not a COPING thing. We are not getting high. Shit, smoking pot in highschool didn’t make me high, it made me normal! YA that was fun! Everyone else was giddy and high as a kite, and I was able to finally focus enough to go home and do my homework for the first time in my highschool career.
Our meds are helpers to the chemicals our brain cannot produce well enough on their own.PLAIN AND SIMPLE.
You’re stigma, prejudice and “jokes” are offensive. PLAIN AND SIMPLE.
So if you are gonna look in my face and say to me that my drugs make me hyper, or happy, or that ADHD can just be “cured or solved” with some basketball… well, sorry to be so blunt, but I’m gonna have to say…
FUCK YOU!
Plain and Simple.
YMCA Vancouver Paid Ad in a local paper. Charlene Giovannetti-King, the YMCA Vice President of Funds Development directly linked to the Advertisement said “We don’t see this really as a mistake” on a CBC radio interview with Rick Cluff.
Posted by SuperADDMom on April 18, 2010
every stage is bittersweet. I love every age and stage of the kids growth. Each one I wish they’d stay right there, but at the same time I can’t wait to see what’s next
This is Bupba’s last ride on the rider seat on my bike today. Now sillygirl
is outside taking him for a “last ride with training wheeels” around the block, and is gonna teach him to ride two wheeled. she’s got him all covered in elbow and knee pads, and extra “soft” sweater LOL
Posted by SuperADDMom on April 17, 2010
Well, so far i’ve done 8.6 klm this week on the gazelle…low energy and sore hips, knees and neck/shoulders are bothering me so i didn’t get in the full half hour tonight.
Reading an ebook while on the gazelle helped it go by faster though.
Posted by SuperADDMom on
So those of you who follow both my husband and I on twitter will likely recall a recent back-and-forth from some issues going on right now, that all relate to my “neurodiversities” and my being upset with his sharing there some pretty deep issues that are affecting our marriage. Not “call the lawyer for divorce papers” issues, because I am not about to run away from this, but serious enough that it leads to extra stress and chaos in our day to day living.
So….ya.. here’s the deal. I’ve sort of covered the topic lightly before WAY back here in a blog post. But I’ve only ever glossed over it and not took the idea seriously at all when doing the whole ” name it to claim it, claim it to change it” deal.
Now it is clear that the struggles we are having are because I am Autistic. High functioning, verbal, able to be independent in adulthood, above average intelligence autistic.
The above average intelligence is apparently a given because without it I’d be less functional in society if I didn’t have that going for me to have been able to learn and adjust on how to cope in life, and appear relatively “normal” from a glance, with all the things I have going against me, but from what my dr and husband tell me I’m somewhere between on or around “superior to high average” intelligence.
But, I don’t test well due to dyslexia, and verbal auditory issues and such, so my IQ level has never been measured properly, and noone has seen a need to really find out.
So, if you looked Autism in the face ….would you recognize it? well, you do now.
We’ve just made the connections. My Dr has alluded to “traits” in the last 4 years I’ve been seeing her, but she is more of a “let them figure it out for themselves” kind of Dr. who makes suggestions, but doesn’t push.
So ya….a “label” doesn’t change who I am, or make me different from yesterday when we didn’t have a label, but currently I feel worthless knowing. I’ve known all along you can’t change brain wiring, but until now, I’ve been thinking I could sorta train the ADHD to stay in a small part of ym brain where it wouldbe more good than disruptive.
But now the struggles I have, over and over, all my life are clearer and easier to understand.
I basically have felt worthless all my life, and my existence has been trying to prove my worthiness. I feel like a fraud to my husband, and think if he had known when he got involved with me, he would have run away as fast as he could, and now 11 years and two kids and a physical disability later, he’s essentially trapped with a relatively functional retard.*
I feel like a failure at life due to the deep anxiety that is a constant in my life making basic day to day functioning very very difficult. I have panic attacks, can’t think, and then come here to the computer to calm down.
I feel mad because I’m only finding out all the issues i have NOW in my 30’s, and dealing with a lot of deep emotional crap from my life for EVERY event that probably occurred due to my brain wiring, and it being blamed on me for being stupid, but smart enough to know better,and therefore feeling bad, and guilty for doing stuff I had no explanation for.
They literally are replaying in my mind and the connection of shit that happened to me and being autistic without knowing it is being made. and I feel every emotion going….mad, sad, relief, confusion, etc.
I debated about sharing here…but I’m not gonna “hide it” I’ve always said I’m open and honest… I was told all my life “not rock the boat”, to “smile and forget about it”. I was always made to shut up and not share any negative emotions, and I just cannot be that way. I refuse to hide, or be shut up in my life. And so even if I am embarassed, or sad, or hurt or whatever, I need to remain true. If that gathers me critics, or loss of people I know/enjoy in my life then I’ll just have to deal with it.
I’ve always talked about my ADHD, my dyslexia, my learning disabilities… all this shit was stuff I never knew about me as a child. I grew up in an family of self medicating drinkers. I admit I have a hard time dealing with people in my life who medicate their lives heavily with alcohol. It is basically burying your head in the sand to avoid shit, and I refuse to avoid shit. It would be SOO much easier to just drink or be high all the time, but I don’t…because of basically paralysing fear of becoming a dysfunctional alcoholic, and causing my kids an adult life of grief trying to figure out their shit because I changed them with drinking.
I’ve done a LOT of healing and growing from my childhood, and the constant bullying I endured in school, being suicidal at 15 and making a lie up to not admit I’m suicidal, but to get me to a therapist anyway.
So, what I struggle with a lot now is brain wiring and natural chemistry makeup and trying to change the ingrained taught behaviours I was provided to “cope” and “appear normal” to society. I also am having to learn how to cope with over exposure to sensory things that bother me, and not take it out on others. I never made the connections before, I was just bitchy…but not realizing it was due to too much noise, or people being clingy around me, or too much light.
Some days sound is so painful to my ears I need everyone to shut up, or I desire being alone, and therefore become VERY agitated. I don’t know how to show emotions properly in person, so though people get to know the real me on the internet, when they meet me in person, I appear odd, or aloof, and stand offish. This is because of the level of anxiety I have trying to hear conversations due to my CAPD , and understand people’s facial expressions etc, and then they think I am a fraud because I’m nothing like I am on the internet. I don’t understand non verbal communication and misread people all the time, and it drives me crazy. it’s taken me a long time to admit and realize at the same time that these are issues for me. Because of spending 35 years trying to prove I’m “normal”
Like most adults who discover such debilitating neurodiversities at this point in their lives. It has come to the front and has been recognized because I could cope better when I was single, or just a couple with no kids… or even when I was a couple with one child under 2…but now with two children with very similar neurodiversities, a husband who’s physical abilities are diminished, and worsening brain chemistry because I’m peri-menopausal, I’m basically a bumbling idiot, and a lot of day I can hardly pull off the things that everyone does in their normal day to day and do on autopilot.
Last night I took three hours to make a pizza, which I then promptly left in the oven ( had the sense to turn off the oven when the timer went) because I got pulled away trying to figure out the downed internet issue calling the ISP…. but let it get brown in the oven’s residual heat to make it like cardboard.
This seems “minor” but when you make these kinds of mistakes EVERY DAY….multiple times a day…leaving people hungry, waiting for you to fix your mistakes, living your life as a failure makes one feel pretty fucked up, useless, unwanted, and like I should just go away, because I can’t make it any better, so being gone could not make it any worse.
If there is a Hell it is being smart enough to know you’re retarded, so you cannot live simply and unaware of your shit, and be the “cute little retarded girl” with no anxiety or awareness that what you do/cannot do is outside the “norm”.
sorry if this is incoherent.. this took me 2 hours to write, through tears, yelling at a 5 year old spinning in the living room playing Luke Skywalker with a drumstick, and dealing with a 9 year old who STILL cannot change gears and is melting on the floor.
*Don’t get on my ass about calling myself a retard… retarded means.. slow or limited in intellectual or emotional development or academic progress.. look it up…literally I’m retarded. It takes me longer to “get it”. So, get over yourself if that offended you… and no, I’m not THAT “retarded” to not know that YOU think *I* should be offended by the word retarded, and that THAT really means you’re anal retentive. NOT MY PROBLEM
Posted by SuperADDMom on
finally finished the amigarumi crochet polarbear for hubs. his legs are all longer than the other, and he sits lopsided, but oh well.
He’s still cute… AND i FINISHED a project. do you know WHAT kind of an ACCOMPLISHMENT that is for a person with ADHD?
