Posted by SuperADDMom on May 6, 2009
I know.. you’re saying…”Woah! What happened to the site!?”
No, it’s not a mistake. I’ve changed it….too many responsibilities, not enough time, and despite over 10,000 hits a month as it was, I never get any feed back. It makes me feel like it is not worth it.
I have two young kids both with neurodiversities that make life an ADDventure and interesting and a joy and a challenge every single day, as well as a disabled husband who needs my constant care and help.
These things leave me little time for much else these days. Especially since we moved to rural, where gardening, cutting wood, and others things require so much of my attention.
So, I’ve decided to make this my site about ADD since it is something that is a large part of my life. My daily blog of being a woman/wife/mother with ADD, my ADDventures in Motherhood, and country living. I’ll share my ADDCrafts friendly crafts, my ADD Friendly Recipes, as well as other things i enjoy such as recycled junk art, note cards, and other things I make like my paintography and photography, and such. Perhaps even a little bit of my music.
I’ll soon be offering the CleanHome booklet and dayplanner to purchase under ADDing Routine category for anyone interested. As always I’d love to hear from you so feel free to leave me a message.
Blessings
MamaRil
Posted by SuperADDMom on May 4, 2009
Was a nice day except being in a car for 6 hours with 2 neurodiverse kids yelling all the way
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Posted by SuperADDMom on May 3, 2009
read www.nurturedmother.ca/me.php
Posted by SuperADDMom on
Well just cause it's getting warmer doesn't mean I get to slow down LOL… the gathering of wood still continues for next winter, to be ahead of the game.but it is nice that we have not had to have fires going constantly for over a week or so now. I think I light one 2 days ago, just to take off the dampness from a MAJOR rain storm. We've been collecting wood here and there, but we need to work on the trailer to get it fixed. we came home from the city today feeling own because we had no way to gather all the huge pile of pallet wood from the back of the home depot store, because the van was full of groceries, freecycle and garage sale finds.I'm hoping we can make it a priority to get the trailer fixed in the next two weeks, before our next trip back there.
I'm happy that today we found a hospital table for the bed for hubby when he's to tired and sick to get out of bed, for only $10. The secret to deals at a yard sale, is be nice, and chatty, go late, with small cash, offer them a price that is about 40 percent off of what they wanted for it, or gather a bunch of stuff and say. will you take … and they usualy are happy to not have to drag it back into the house again. we also got 4 stools for the house and workshop for sitting at workbenches or the kitchen counter for Dh when he wants to help, for only 5 bucks.
The weather has been very spring, and I think i need to bring out the lawn mower tomorrow and cut the grass for the first time, it is getting LONG!
As well we are cleaning the yard, clearning off the fence of dad grape vine ( and making vine wreaths out of it to sell), getting the workshop orgnized, planning the garden to grow vegetables so we can have fresh free food all summer, and can for the winter. this year we are taking on eight 4 by 4 foot square foot gardens section, and having two foot walking paths between them. we hope to over time make it a nice walkway with pebbly stone, but that will require many family fun trips to the beach LOL, and bringin home a few pails at a time 
We are also gathering sticks, and wood for a waddle fence alone the side of the house, and bricks and stone for fix the front retaining wall for the flower beds, as well as gathering materials for some other garden projects, including windows for a greenhouse off the back of the workshop.
I've been also looking into a passive solar heating panel system we can build to heat the workshop through the winter from the sun. we are plannning to gathering he supplies needed. testing the plan, and if it works, adapting it to work on the workshop as well as the house.
Also after finding a fixed $100 a month for hydro before I even turn on a light switch we are working on ways to suppliment our hydro with wind, since it is WINDY here, so windy in fact the province is trying to get wind power stations put here in our area and he old farts all with one foot in the grave are all complaining about it. " it will lower our propery value, and is bad for your health ..waa waaa"
Anywya… it's a busy crazy season right now.. all while I brain storm and work to see if I can find a way to make some extra money to help pay some bills.we are barley scraping by, and property taxes are coming up again in June.
like I said.. too busy for words.
Posted by SuperADDMom on April 16, 2009
SUNSHINE!!!!!
Posted by SuperADDMom on April 11, 2009
With the warmer weather coming finally I am able to be in the workshop, that is minimally heated, and start setting it up for the purposes we have intended.
Over the last few days I've moved the stuff in the corner intended for the craft & sewing area, and started putting in the large furniture. But today my 8 year old daughter and I went out and got the majority of it done. Now over the next little while, we'll be sorting the boxes and boxes of materials, setting up the painting and drawing areas for the kids, filing the papers we have of magazine articles of craft ideas, "junk-booking" materials, and organizing the decoupage-jewelry making, and other assorted areas for all the different things we like to do & try.
we measured the space we decided to allot, and will eventually build walls around & the craft sewing area takes up the equivalent of a 10 by 14 room at the moment, with the plans to build UP, and make a lofty area above for storage and other crafts that could be done up there.
the amazing thing I realized moving it all around and such, is that every piece of furniture in the area is either a junk pile find, a hand me down from friends and neighbors, a side road "free take me" find, or a freecycle item.
The filing cabinet is from my old high school's Science Lab my dad got me when they were tearing it down to build the new school back in 1998ish & I'm building organization filing shelves for the kids crafting with papers etc to the left you can't see in the picture right now with ketchup boxes from the local grocery stores, MEGA bargain sale…LOL…works good for that.
I'll take better pics late when it is all done. the paintings were here when we moved. we stuck them on nails that were already in the walls..lol
Posted by SuperADDMom on April 9, 2009
I feel very strongly that a medical professional thinks I'm a hypochondriac because I am aware of my own body, and I consider symptoms to usually be a sign of something going on that needs to be looked at and when they show up, I’ll go to this peron and say.. this is what’s happening…i’m concerned it looks like…let’s check it out. Now to clarify, I have not done this excessively, and I am NOT a person to run to a medical professional for every single little thing.
What has precipitated this additude from this peron is that I made requests in the past year for specific tests to rule out specific stuff.
The one test I did get done came from the ER doctor ordering it due to the issue I presented with, but my family practitioner never followe up. I asked my family practitioner for a referral to a neurologist and for MONTHS the referral never came… & was apparently "lost" & only done once I pushed for it…MANY MONTHS later, asking why it was taking so long.There is a family history of an issue that concerned me, and with vague information from my mother, I was trying to inquire as to the issue. given the ongoing symptoms I’ve had and what this looked like when you add up all the separate things I’ve been diagnosed with over the last 4 years.
Now it is almost a full year later since the first request and things show to be normal based on head only cat scan and EEG I had done, though I'm still have the dizzy spells, walking balance issues, sore neck, headaches, numb patches on my back, and tinglness on my back, along with chronic and worsening lower back and hip pain. etc. This seems to be as far as it is bein taken with this professional….and for some time now I’ve had an issue getting them to even document my hip and lower back pain in writing. at the last 3 appointments ( in the span of maybe 6 months) I’ve But saying. I have this tingly patch on my back, my hip hurts a lot, and it never gets written down, and then was told that that kind of thing can’t be xrayed t check until it has been an official complaint for over 6 months, though I’ve been mentioning it for years.
Anyway…this professional has also recently held my annual PAP test results from me on purpose for 5 months until it was time to do a retest to make sure things are fine & because the test came back with abnormalities.
I feel manipulated & like I can't trust this professional & also feel like in future they won't take my concerns serious given that they have a bias in that direction against me. This professional admitted to me today that the results were held back from me on purpose because they "knew you would spend the whole 6 months fretting".
I'm feeling sick about it, and I can't let it go, but I'm not sure I should be letting it go…my gut tells me otherwise. Others say I'm obsessing. At this point I’m really not feeling comfortabel gong back to them about the ongoing pain, and seemingly nerve issues in my neck and back/spine. Dh and I have decided to go around this person and go to a clinic and see a differetn doctor and explain the situation and see if perhaps they’ll order the tests, or will refer me to a specialist to look deeper into the issues, I’m having.<SIGH>
Posted by SuperADDMom on April 8, 2009
After all that my boy fell alseep on my bed & looked @me smiled& said i wove u mommy I cried!!
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Posted by SuperADDMom on
do I sigh….keep it in and keep plugging away? Should I climb to the top of a mountain and scream
until I can no longer hear, and no longer have a voice? or just sit here on the floor in the kitchen crying as I wipe up the apple raspberry sauce my 4 year old just spilled all ALLLLL over the floor. No I can't sit here crying… I have too much stuff todo, and it never ends. I'm painfully reminded that becaue I was catching up on dishes and cutting wood for the terribly cold day it is today, that I have not been doing the laundry and I have a dry load to fold. two loads to dry and way too many loads yet to wash…
I look at the clock wonering when bedtime is? the melatonin should hvae kick in by now, but he's now tettering upside down on the rocking chair on his head balancing. I wonder if I have the energy and paitence to parent at this very moment, or should I just crawl under the covers in a fetl postion and seek mothering myself.
Where does the drive come from… the will to keep going. the patience needed to politely ask what the 1 millionth time you hear "mommyyy" in that shrill, high squeal pitch, knowing, JUST knowing that you're about to hear about the injustice done to one by the other.
and as I blog this to prevent myself from slipping into that insanity i HOPE all mothers some days feel. I'm interrupted by the DH telling me that he wants to TV to watcha movie with the girl.. and so…. I have to stop what I'm writing…
will I get back to this later.. not likely.. and it shall remain unfinished. like everything else on my to do list.
Posted by SuperADDMom on March 31, 2009
Each of us has characteristics we define as ‘good’ and those we define as ‘bad.’ The parts of ourselves that we continually reject want to be acknowledged and loved. Until we honour these aspects, they will continue to assert themselves. They will do whatever they can to get our attention.
What aspects of yourself do you reject?
Take a few moments to open to the parts of yourself that you do not love. See each one honestly for what it is. Explore the wounds and the motives that gave rise to its condition. Love a wounded part of yourself and it will heal.
I've been trying to do some deeper evaluation of myself these days and see why I am the way I am.. I mean I KNOW why I am the way I am to an extent. We can call it nature…the brain chemistry I've been given is not anything I can deny, change, or get rid of, but I can learn to live with it better.
Struggling with Auditory Processing Disorder and ADHD is not easy.. but to try to explain the depths that it affects my life and the lives of the people who I live with is almost impossible. People do not think ADHD and go, oh wow, ADHD impairs you enough to cause you to be on a disability pension?!
umm yes it does.
The dealing with Auditory processing dysfunction on top of that makes things REALLY REALLY HARD, and until recently I never really realized just HOW much it impares me. I was not aware just how much i hide my inability to hear people when there is background noise, too many voices in the room, etc. I didn't realize that it impaired my judgment on being able to understand people with thick accents. I never realized just how much mental power it takes in a day for me to process everything I hear and have to try and filter out. I didn't realize how half the arguments I have with my husband or children, are due to me not hearing properly what i being said, making an assumption, and basing my next statement or decision on THAT info, and it being a total and complete miscommunication that leads to upset people, hurt feelings, and MAJOR frustration on every one's part.
I hate that I make SO many mistakes all the time. that I lose stuff, forget things, burn dinner misread the directions and get us lost, mis calculate the numbers and screw up the banking etc etc. I've spent so much time in my life trying to hide my shortcomings from everyone else for fear of big ridiculed for them, AND for being emotionally beaten down in my younger years for being "day dreamy" scatterbained and cumbsy, that I will deny until I am blue in the face such an incident even if the evidence is right there for all the world to see. and then I just look insane, like a liar.
Studying Buddhism for the last 8ish years has lead me down a path of finding out who I really am, it has given me the strength I needed thus far… but there is such a long journey still ahead of me. I try to make it about the journey and not the destination, but it is never easy to stay mindful of such things al the time.The road is sometimes VERY bumpy and the hills are VERY high to climb…some days I'm too tired to keep going.
I've been trying to work on actually finding out WHAT I want in life… not this is not some kind of midlife crisis.. I've always been evaluating this, but I'm trying to prioritise what is important, what NEEDS to be done and what doesn't etc.
What is it that my subconscious seeks so badly that i will do emotionally dysfunctional things to achieve, almost regardless of the cost.. I'm still analysing….What do i want to do…what do I LIKE to do, what do i LOVE to do, not just what am i capable of doing, because honestly.. I'm probably capable of pretty much doing just about anything I have interests in. So what do i like to do, what gives me and my family pleasure, and what can I let go…. since I like to do so many thing sand have yet till a list of things I want to do and try that I have no time for.
So far this is what I know.
I am a people person.
I have the "gift to gab"
I can sing, and VERY good at it, and enjoy doing so. it brings me peace internally, but I'm terrified to sing in public anymore since I stopped drinking.
I like photography I like painting, and I've figured out what kind of photography I like to do, so I'm leaving the other kinds behind.
I'm very inventive & creative about re purposing stuff
I'm poor at organization
I'm physically clumsy
I'm poor at internal time telling
I hardly ever finish ANYTHING I start and I want to change that, I want to feel like I can accomplish something, be proud of myself for a FINISHED job. I feel the need to
I get very deeply upset when I make mistakes and disappoint people. I don't like people around me to be sad or unhappy.
I get very upset when people don't take time to know me and then make assumptions about my life.
I want to be recognized for the things I do that I am good at.. on an overall scale.. I'm not talking personally by people in my house necessarily because the recognition is there. I'm talking about on a larger scale. I don't mean I need or want to be worldwide famous, but I'd like some recognition for my creativity and hard work, and good ideas, and have them bring my family some financial Independence and capabilities…
ohh .. I'd write more.. but i'm tired, and my brain is feeling like mush and tomorrow is grocery day
