Monthly Archives: February 2010

I’ve never been a believer of withholding food from our bodies, in the name of “getting clean”

We NEED food. food is our fuel, it makes us move, be, think, do.

So Instead I’m detoxifying my system.

Slowly I’m cutting off these things from my fuel intake

Red Meat ( except once a week)

Refined Sugar ( this one will be hard as I am a huge carb craver due to my chemical makeup. I’m not cutting myself off from ALL refined sugar, but I am refraining from adding  spoonfuls of sugar to my tea, cereal etc.)

White Pasta

White Potatoes.

I’m drinking Green tea, Herbal teas, Water, lemon

Fruits and veggies

and Raw Garlic.

as my physical health permits, from the back, neck and shoulder pain that is constant without tylenol and ibuprophen, I am stretching and doing Yoga.

It’s been a long time….I fell off the healthy wagon when I got pregnant with my son and could no longer do yoga or pilates without getting dizzy.

I gained 50 pounds with his pregnancy, and have not lost much of it.

I don’t care about the weightloss, I care about mobility and being healthy.

I’m making my lists of things i want to do, and it would be more fun to be able to do them if i can walk.

Funny how cleaning out the toxicity in my emotional life, helps me want to clear out the toxcicty in my physical life as well.

By far. Coke Zero, and Bacon will be the hardest to cut back on. ( I said cut back.. I’d never give up coke Zero and Bacon!)

The easiest way to piss off those who work for your unhappiness, is to ignore them, and be happy anyway.

Because i’m going to connect the dots and solve my husband’s pain and health issues.

One need not be a doctor to see connections and correlations between the pain, and when the pain stops.

Mark my words on this day, Feb 20th 2010…. I WILL find an answer.

I may not be able to reverse the permanent damage already done to his body by CFS/ME, but i WILL find a better way to mange his pain, since his doctors don’t give a fuck.

My husband lives with debilitating chronic pain from serious CFS/ME…the kind that people kill themselves over, become drug addicts, or alcoholics over, and he lives with it every second of everyday because his doctor refuses to give him any pain meds stronger than ibuprophen SR, and he is not the addictive personality that allows others to go that route for self medicating.

In 7 years of worsening and ongoing pain, I’m the ONLY one who gives a shit and works constantly to find a management protocol to help him have some level of quality of life.

I’ve been studying on my own for 5 years now. The immune system, the central nervous system, herbology, nutrition, food biology, microbiology, Biochemistry, Vitamins, minerals, Toxins, chemicals, and now the endocrine system.

5 years…i’ve been working on this puzzle. with a ill husband as a guinea pig to test my theories on. I’m getting closer, this puzzle is starting to fill in. The edges are finally connected… i just need fill in the middle and test it as I go.

When my book documenting all this and solution makes my name world known because it helps people like my husband, I’ll make the medical establishment who has allowed my husband to live in pain this badly eat every fucking last page one by one.

I don’t need a diploma hanging on the wall to see the symptom and find a solution.

I don’t need or want fame, or gobs of money, I want my husband not not be laying in bed with tears streaming down his face because he can’t stop the pain, begging me to help him feel better with messages.

I want people to stop suffering because the medical establishment has a god complex and don’t want to solve simple math problems.

I don’t need a diploma to CARE, and therefore to have my caring push my desire for an answer. THAT is the difference between me and them. I CARE. I live with my “patient” everyday and see his pain and suffering every minute of the day. THEY don’t. They see him for 20 minutes once every few months and only see him on a day he has the energy to stand up an GO there.

I will laugh in the face of the doctors who sat by and have not helped my husband have a better life. They don’t REALLY CARE….and they don’t want you to know that if it was “simple” anybody could figure this shit out, and if anybody could figure it out, they would not be as deemed as important or as necessary in society, and they’d not be able to afford the nice cars, homes, and golf club memberships.

And…..If it is because they CAN’T solve simple math problems, and actually DO care… that’s scary…why do we trust them with our lives so much… even when they say they can’t help us?

The medical establishment spends too much time trying to figure out ILLNESS and the CAUSE, rather than looking at HEALTHY. The CAUSE is not as important as the symptoms that presents itself to tell us there is an issue. if through medical research they know HOW to STOP a symptom, trying to figure out WHY people get CFS/ME is futile. They need to be spending their time figuring out WHAT stops, or eases the symptoms by comparing them to a healthy person, and seeking a way to balance them.

Logical…..but too simple for them to even consider….because anyone could do that.

Even a dyslexic, 35 year old  housewife with learning disabilities.

While searching for something totally different, I found the kids birth certificates!in a place I’d never think of looking. my old wallet, on my desk.

WOOHOO. So now I can finish the process of changing addresses on their health cards so if and when they have a medical appointment, they’ll be covered.

Now.. if I could finally catch up with the laundry enough to make sure in an emergency they have clean underwear. In case, ya know they trip on the pile of dirty clothes on laundry day and break a finger, cause they didn’t have clean underwear and it was sitting in that pile.

Full circle folks….see.. clean underwear was all about PREVENTING an accident, not being prepared in case of one.

So I searched more, and could not find the birth certificates. and called the dr. Office to see what they wanted me to do.

My ass is saved for now. I still have to find the birth certificates and go to the city to change the kids cards. but I have until March to do it now.

The Dr had to be called away on an emergency cover another doctor hospital rounds for the day and the next available appt for daughter is not until March 1st.

So… now….off to haul in some wood, cover the bathroom window i better plastic to keep the cold draft out, find the kids ice skates so they can go skating on the pond, do  loads of laundry, put out the recycle, make brunch and clean the kitchen.

oh joy oh bliss.

I HATE having to try and be organized because I fall off the wagon, and lose stuff, or forget where I put it.

Sometimes it is in the place where a cluttered ADD mind would think to put it, but often it is also in the place that an organized person would think to put it, because in those flash of brillance moments I have the idea to be more organized and so I start to be more organized, only to fall off the organized wagon and forget what I did with stuff. and when it is in the organized place, my cluttered mind is the one looking for the thing, and therefore is not ANYWHERE I can think it SHOULD be!

We have lived in this house for over a year, and apparently I forgot to change the addresses on our health cards. We can’t get health care without the card. ( well we could but we’d have to pay for the visit/blood test/etc if we don’t present our provincial issued card upon arrival.this is something we cannot afford out of pocket)

I THOUGHT I changed the addresses, but we all have the cards with the old address on it.

This in and of itself is NOT that big an issue.

A quick click here and there on a website and the address change requests have been put in for my and hubby’s cards. BUT…

My daughter’s card has expired on her birthday which was October past, and therefore I technically DO NOT have a health card that is valid for her. When a card expires the  letter code changes when a new one is issued, so her last appointment is not covered. and she has an appointment today at 12:30, which is looks like I’m going to have to cancel until I can get to the city, which is a hour away during, and get there during business hours and apply for the new one and a temporary card until the new one is printed and mailed.

This in and of itself is not THAT big a deal… BUT

I can’t find my son or my daughter’s birth certificates.

You see….so we would not lose them, hubby and I decided to file them away in a safe place, so as not to be travelling with them on our person all the time, since they are not needed all the time.

This in and of itself is not such a big deal BUT…

I can’t remember WHERE I filed them, if it was a cluttered mind moment, or an organized mind moment that i did it in, and therefore, I cannot move forward in these matters UNTIL I find their birth certificates.

And THIS in and of itself IS a big deal, because…

I have ADD. I’ve already been looking for 2 hours.

and I hate ADD.

happy fucking monday!