My husband wrote this today about CFS/ME, and a woman who took her own life from it.

Posted by SuperADDMom on January 27, 2010

Lynn Gilderdale’s moving account of why she decided to end her life

Lynn Gilderdale was afflicted with CFS/ME for 16 years, having suffered through it from the age of 14.

http://lynngilderdale.net/

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/politics/lawandorder/7074234/Lynn-Gilderdale-how-a-14-year-old-was-condemned-to-a-life-lived-from-a-bed.html

http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/uk/crime/article6993897.ece?token=null&offset=0&page=1

In 2008, her mother helped her end her suffering. Yesterday, she was set free after a trial that never should have happened.

As a fellow CFS/ME sufferer, I’m glad that I don’t have as severe a case as Lynn Gilderdale. I also know that if I do ever get that bad, I’ll feel the same way and want to end my life. I’m thankful that I am still able to get out now and then… still able to do some of the things to let me feel a little bit of alive, a little bit human… and almost “normal” for a short time.

I’ve had people misunderstand, thinking that being chronically ill I must get the “good drugs” and strong painkillers – that is not the case. The strongest pain medication I have is ketoprofen – little more than glorified Advil – which has the added pleasant side-effect of rotting my digestive system out so I get to live with a different kind of pain. MY medical practitioner, who is less than competent on her BEST day, has some ridiculous delusions about pain, CFS and the whole situation. I mean, you know, you wouldn’t want to give someone in chronic pain something they might get addicted to, because then they might be addicted to it. Never mind that NOT being in pain could actually improve my quality of life… right? I mean, it’s much more important that we worry about what may become a dependence on pain medication. That would be just awful, using pain medication to relieve pain. What a horrible idea.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ketoprofen

As long as I don’t push my stamina too much and cause it to diminish more, I shouldn’t end up like Lynn Gilderdale. I really hope I don’t. I can’t imagine never getting out of bed, never going outdoors, never being able to do anything I love or contribute in any way to maintaining our home. It’s bad enough having to be sleeping more than I am awake, and living with pain, brain fog, and all the other peculiar symptoms in my unique little collection.

I don’t like to talk about this much. I don’t want people to feel sorry for me or pity me in any way. It is what it is, I have this illness, and I refuse to let it define who I am. But if it ever gets as bad as it got for poor Lynn, I’ll be looking for a way out, too. You can rely on that.